Page 1, panel one Interior shot of an office. An array of cubes, Dilbert-style, fill the large room and a few people in semi-casual dress can be seen in the cubes or walking about. No dialogue. Page 1, panel two Closer shot of a cube to the right. We can see inside the cube a woman in her mid-twenties, typing at a computer terminal with what looks to be billing slips next to her. Her computer screen has a small box at the top that flashes, reading "You have new mail." The woman is slim and trim, model thin actually, conservatively dressed though with a lot of color, in black pants, purple silk shirt with a gaudy but cool necklace and matching earrings. Her eyes are wide and her hair is in a long brown braid down her back. Her name here, to protect her identity, is simply SW. 1 SW: What now? Page 2, splash page Length shot of SW with a good view of her surprised expression as she reads the email. Her glasses are in her hand, when she took to the off to read. (I'm doing our glasses, Beck, as an object we need for computer work only vanity. *grin*) A few pics of a rabbit dressed as a samurai and a prominent poster of Nightwing is hanging on the cube wall. 1 EMAIL: SW! Meet us on the top of the Kansas City Jazz Building downtown at midnight tonight. And bring your friend, Wolfie, with you. We need some major help and you may be our only help. Please keep our existence a secret! ---Nightwing 2 SW: What the --?! Credits on this page at the bottom corner IT'S ONLY PRETEND, RIGHT? Story by Wolfie, SW and Fishy Written by Wolfie Inked by Quill N. Inke Color by A. Colorist Lettered by Comic Sans Font Edited by T.H. Editor Cover Art by A.N. Artiste Page 3, Panel one We see SW in what appears to be a furious paced typing and she will be speaking what she types. 1 SW: Ha, ha, Wolfie. Real funny joke, but it's way passed April Fool's Day! 2 SW: Thought I would forward your message back. Page 3, Panel two A close up of the computer screen in SW's office/cube. The screen reads, Sending Mail, and the screen should also reflect a small portion of SW's face, which is smiling. No dialogue. Page 3, panel three A shot of SW from just outside the cube, as if across the small aisle. She is leaning back her chair and has a huge smile on her face. 2 SW: Real funny, Wolfie. Real friggin' funny. Page 4, panel one Interior shot of Wolfie's office at a different company. A similar cube office, except even more cramped, if possible. If not, just make it more chaotic. More people everywhere and in extremely casual dress. No business dress at all, just jeans, T-shirts, and the occasional woman in a jacket or sweater because the office is always kept at a freezing temperature. Wolfie, with shoulder length brown hair, glasses on her face, and in blue jeans and a Beatles T-shirt, is staring at a piece of paper in front of her. She is ignoring the computer, despite it's beeping at her. She has a blue pen in her hand. She looks less than happy with her situation and is frowning heavily. Various pictures of the Titans and the JLA are visible all over her cube. 1 FX (computer): BEEP! BEEP! 2 WOLFIE: Oh. Yea. A new message for me. Page 4, panel two A shot of Wolfie's computer screen. It has an email up, similar to SW's but has a different sender. The computer also beeps again, indicating yet another new message. 3 EMAIL: Wolfiegal!! Chickie-gal!! Ya gotta help us, babe. Me and the Wingster need some major help and it looks like you and SW are our only hope! You and SW need to meet us on top of the Jazz Building in Kansas City, MO, El Muy Pronto, or midnight, whichever happens first!! I promise a major story gig outta this!! I SWEAR!!! --Arsenal 4 OFF (Wolfie): Uh-huh. Sure, ShadowWing. Right. Whatever. 5 FX (computer): BEEP! BEEP! Page 4, panel three We catch a few lines of SW's message and can definitely see her "signature" of SW. We also have a good side shot of Wolfie's mouth dropped open in shock. Her glasses are also in her hand now as well. 6 WOLFIE: No frickin' way! Page 4, panel four We see two figures, both masculine and hunky in build, in shadows, staring down at a laptop computer. (Don't ask me how it's plugged in, cuz it don't matter!! *silly smile*) Both have eyes that gleam white in the darkness and we can't really tell who they are. Well, okay, we *know* who they are (Nightwing and Arsenal, of course, duh!), but the audience isn't supposed to know. Give lotsa hints in costumes and stuff, like an outline of Arsenal's bow and the shape of Nightwing's mask slightly illuminated. They also seem to be on top of a building, as there are other buildings standing tall around them and slightly in the distance. 7 MAN IN SHADOWS #1 (Arsenal): You think they'll actually show? 8 MAN IN SHADOWS #2 (Nightwing): I think so. They're adventurous enough. 9 MAN IN SHADOWS #1 (Arsenal) :I just hope they're cute! 20 MAN IN SHADOWS #2 (Nightwing): --sigh-- Page 5, panel one Full page exterior shot, with Page 5, panels two and three thrown in here and there for dramatics, of the side of the Kansas City Jazz Building (fictional of course), the tallest building in the city. Two figures are almost to the top of the building, crawling up it from the outside. Both figures are definitely female. The shot is quite some distance, but it should be obvious from the dialogue that these two maniacs are our heroines. 1 SW: We must be insane! 2 WOLFIE: That may be, but ain't it fun? 3 SW: We could get killed! 4 WOLFIE: We have safeties on. Stop whining. Page 5, panel two Close up of SW's face. She's wearing a mask with silver trim and the tight black jumpsuit is form-fitting and very flattering. (Hey! It's our story, we can be Cindy Crawford if we want!!) From what we can see of her face, she appears to be slightly apprehensive, but neither one of our heroines seem to be working on all thrusters since they are climbing up KCMO's highest building at midnight, wearing black outfits, following a couple emails that are more than likely are pranks. Does the phrase "cat burglar" bring anything to mind? 6 SW: We are gonna die. Page 5, panel three Semi-close up of Wolfie's face, which is exasperated, and she seems excited. Clearly of the two, she is missing the most brain cells. At least SW had the decency to eventually think twice about the escapade, despite the fact that she thought about it once they were most of the way up the building. None of this appears to bother Wolfie one bit. 7 WOLFIE: If it's a joke, now we can say we know what our heroes feel like climbing the side of a building! 8 OFF (SW): --sigh-- Page 6, panel one The two are standing on obviously quivering legs on top of the building. Both are bent over, hands on knees to catch their breath and gather their nerves. (I just want to know how they think they are going to get down a building that's closed for the evening? Someone is bound to notice two women repelling off the building.) The whole place is in shadows. For a look at what their costumes look like, see attachment, and slight description on Page 7, panel one. (There really isn't an attachment, Beck, but hey, it's cool to say that like there's an artist that cares!) 1 WOLFIE: Whuff puff--whew. 2 SW: I --huff huff -- agree. Page 6, panel two The two women have startled expressions on their faces but are in roughly the same position. Both have looked up from the floor of the roof and are staring directly at us, where we assume our two "mysterious" speakers are located. 3 OFF (mysterious speaker #1): Our heroines! Here to rescue their beloved men from danger! 4 OFF (mysterious speaker #2): Shut up, Roy. Page 6, panel three A gorgeous shot (emphasis on "gorgeous") of Nightwing and Arsenal in their resplendent and darn fine costumes (we need a life, Beck,badly). Both are grinning rakishly and are in the "pose" position that looks so darn good on the page but has absolutely no purpose whatsoever except making female comic fan hearts flutter (told you we needed a life!!). 5 NIGHTWING: Thanks for coming, SW, Wolfie. 6 FX (off): THUD! 7 FX (off): THUD! Page 7, panel one Arsenal is kneeling over Wolfie, frowning at her bizarre face paint, which we can see now as a funky white mask of paint covering her eye area and two white streaks down the side of her cheeks. The grey outfit she's wearing fits her trim body (like I said CINDY CRAWFORD!! Don't argue with me. On second thought..make that Kathy Ireland.) and is dripping with fringe and fur. It has long sleeves but is high-cut like a bikini at the hips. On her feet are moccasins up above her knees a bit of bluish-white color, with a colorful knife sheath tied around her lower leg with a Bowie in it. Black gloves fit her hands. Arsenal looks worried, while Wolfie looks unconscious. Nightwing is poised over SW, who is dressed in a black spandex costume slightly similar to Nightwing's, trimmed with silver and boots that stop a little above the knee. Both women look to have decided to be superheroes for the evening. 1 NIGHTWING: They passed out! 2 ARSENAL: Well, y'know, we're just fictional heroes to them. 3 NIGHTWING: Wake them up! We need their help. Page 7, panel two Wolfie is sitting up, staring at Arsenal, who is grinning rakishly at her. SW is trying to concentrate on what Nightwing is saying. Both women looked dazed and confused. A sure sign of serious brain-damage. 4 NIGHTWING: ---and somehow we would up here in Kansas City. We tapped into your emails yesterday evening about us and decided you were our best bet. 5 WOLFIE: You've been transported from comic book land to the real world and you want us to help you get back? 6 SW: So, we have to fight Darkseid or something to get you home? 7 ARSENAL: God, I hope not! Page 7, panel three Nightwing has tossed out two of his "Nightlines" out and one is in Arsenal's hands. Both men look ready to jump off the building, just like they do in the comics. Wolfie and SW are looking at them as if they are crazy. 8 ARSENAL: You gonna help us? 9 WOLFIE: We must be insane. 10 SW: Yes, we'll help. 11 NIGHTWING: Hold on tight then. Page 7, panel 4 I want this a shot that runs across the whole bottom of the page. It doesn't have to be a wide panel, but it should be eloquent enough for what I want it for, which is a distance shot of Nightwing and SW on one line, Arsenal and Wolfie on the other, swinging across a wide expanse of nothing. Very Indiana Jones. 12 WOLFIE AND SW: AAAAAAAAAAAUGH! Page 8, panel one New York City. Dusk. Just outside a subway station. Both women are still in full costume and the New Yorkers are ignoring them, because, well, this is New York. Weird things happen all the time. Both our heroines are talking to their respective bosses on the phone as to why they are not going to be at work for at least a week. (Oops.) 1 SW: Well, I'm in New York. I won't be in the office for a week… 2 WOLFIE (small): Um, Balena? I'm --cough-- sick and I'm um --cough cough--gonna be out of the office for at least a week. 3 SW: Coughing? Oh my dying friend..I'm staying with her, uh, husband until she croaks..yeah. Page 8, panel two Both Nightwing and Arsenal are in costumes with overcoats, staring at each other perplexedly. Both women have now hung up the phone and are glaring at the two men, hands on hips. 1 WOLFIE: That's not fair!! You guys get overcoats!! 2 SW: How come you guys never have to call in sick for your escapades in comics.. 3 ARSENAL: Better writers? 4 NIGHTWING: --sigh-- Page 8, panel three The front of the DC Comics office building. Darkness has fallen and both men have thrown lines up to the top and are ready to scale it up. Both women look as if their brains have finally kicked in and no way in hell are they climbing that building. Nightwing is looking down at the ground in frustration and Arsenal has grabbed the arm of Wolfie, who looks to try to be flee. SW is just staring at the tall building stupidly. 5 WOLFIE: I don't think so, Arrowman! 6 SW: Help me, I'm falling. 7 NIGHTWING: You climbed one in Kansas City but now you're squeamish? 8 SW: Our brains have now started functioning according to specifications. In short, no way in hell, Winger. Page 8, panel four Roof of DC building. Both women seem to be unconscious, but you can see one eye of each woman open, staring at the lovely butts encased in spandex. (Mmmm..mmmm good) Both men have them slung over their shoulders as they sneak across the roof. Both men have serious and intent expressions on their faces. 9 WOLFIE & SW (unison): Nice ass. Page 8, panel five Nightwing has a look of shock on his face, while Arsenal is just grinning hugely. Both women have assumed the look of unconsciousness but it should try to look fake. 10 NIGHTWING: Enjoying the view ladies? Page 9, panel one Inside an editor's office, everyone has several paneled pages in their hands of a Nightwing/Arsenal miniseries. One panel should clearly display the tow of them with unconscious women slung over their shoulders. There are several filing cabinets and an extremely littered desk in the office, as well as assorted rubber chickens, Coke and Pepsi cans and a 5 liter bottle of Jolt. 1 NIGHTWING: They get paid to write this drivel? 2 SW: I think it's quite good! 3 WOLFIE: Too bad the artist made you look like Debbie from Debbie Does Dallas! 4 SW: WHAT!?!?! Page 9, panel two Arsenal is holding up his handful of papers with a triumphant grin. Everyone else remains the same. 5 ARSENAL: Eureka! 6 WOLFIE: Was just northwest of where I grew up. 7 SW: --sigh-- 8 ARSENAL: It says here we're supposed to go to St. Thomas in the Virgin Islands next. Page 9, panel three All three are just staring at each other stupidly, same positions as before. 9 WOLFIE: Me without my bathing suit. Page 10, panel one Fishy (another name change to protect the insane; with the body of Kathy Ireland but a little shorter; what's realism?) is leaning heavily against a guy in a black and red body suit who looks incredibly yummy. She has this I've-had-too-much-rum-but I'm-with-a cute-guy-so-who-cares? sappy look on her face. He looks bemused and kinda flattered that a cute chick like her is drunk and leaning on him. The ocean is crashing on the beach. The guy is Tempest, for those who haven't figured it out. 1 TEMPEST: So here I am, and I have no idea what to do next. 2 FISHY: I can think of a few things!! Page 10, panel two Our two intrepid (or crazy) heroines are following the two intrepid (and reality displaced) heroes down the beach. They seem to be looking for something. Fishy and her man are seen slightly down the beach but close enough that the characters can identify them. 3 WOLFIE: I want a bikini!! 4 SW: Next time, lay off the fur! 5 ARSENAL: Uh-oh! Page 10, panel three Fishy and her man are even closer and everyone else is looking over Roy's shoulder (well, except Wolfie who's looking elsewhere). Nightwing is frowning (as usual). 6 NIGHTWING: Uh-oh what? 7 ARSENAL: The artist stopped about...um...here! 8 SW: X never, ever marks the spot. 9 WOLFIE: Yes, Indy. Page 10, panel four Fishy and Tempest are now almost even with the group. Wolfie is now staring at the paper while SW stares at Nightwing's butt. Nightwing is looking at Tempest. Arsenal is still staring at the paper. 10 ARSENAL: Now what do we do? 11 NIGHTWING: Say hi to Garth. That's not Dolphin. 12 TEMPEST: Nope. Better. She's oblivious! 13 WOLFIE: No, she's Fishy! 14 ARSENAL: She looks normal to me. 15 NIGHTWING & SW: --sigh-- Page 11, panel one The Bayside Café, a small hamburger joint with a palm tree growing out of the bar has been invaded by costumed superheroes and their female fan groupies. The only one not in costume is Fishy, because no one told her she needed one on her vacation. So she's wearing a purple two-piece swimsuit (think short Claudia Schiffer again). They all seem to be enjoying their burgers and the women are sucking down rum. A waiter is standing next to Fishy as if trying to take her order. 1 NIGHTWING: Y'know, drinking isn't going to help us out any. 2 TEMPEST: That may be true, but it keeps them from drooling too much. 3 FISHY: Anything with rum in it. 4 ARSENAL: Well, now we have to figure out the secret villain hideout. 5 SW: So who's the secret villain? Page 11, panel two Everyone is looking up in confusion as off-panel there seems to be maniacal laughter. 6 OFF (SECRET VILLAIN): BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! 7 WOLFIE: Cue secret villain here. I believe that's in the script, Roy. 8 ARSENAL: I was looking at the art. I don't read comics. 9 SW: There's a script? Page 11, panel three More off dialogue from secret villain who is actually the evil web-master, the Archivist! (cue bad B-movie horror music here)Everyone is now staring at each other in bored I-can't -believe-we're-wasting-our-time-for-this looks. Page 12, panel one Everyone is now running in terror from the exploding cheeseburger joint. (insert Rocky Horror audience booing here) The three men seem to be helping the women keep upright as they go. 1 FISHY: There goes my cheeseburger in paradise. 2 TEMPEST: I'll buy you another one. 3 EVERYONE ELSE: Groan. 4 SW: Wolfie! You grabbed the script! What happens next? Page 12, panel two Everyone has stopped running and are now gathered around the paint-faced smeared Wolfie, who has a thick script in her hand. (natch) 5 WOLFIE: It says here hit her over the head with a baseball bat. 6 SW: Okay! 7 OFF (SECRET VILLAIN): You can never defeat me! I'm the great web-master, the Archivist! My secret villain plan is to save all comic book characters from anti-Christ writers! 8 FISHY: And where the heck are we supposed to find a baseball bat in the middle of the beach? Page 12, panel three Nightwing hands SW a black baseball bat with the Nightwing logo on it. Everyone else is in typical superhero poses, that have no point (as mentioned before). The women look as if they have always wanted to do this. 9 FISHY: Oh. That works! 10 SW: Oh look the super duper electrical current Night bat 3000! What a great Christmas gift! 11 WOLFIE: Just hit her with it! I wanna go home with hunk over here!! 12 ARSENAL: DEAL! Page 13, full page View of the Archivist falling from the sky as SW bashes the female villain in the head with the Nightbat 3000 (good for barmitzvahs too!) A few of the Archivist's henchmen (and women) have fallen and everyone is doing battle. 1 FISHY: Who signed me on to this outfit anyway? 2 WOLFIE: Next time don't go off on spur of the moment vacations without consulting your friends and you won't have this problem! 3 FISHY: But he looks so good in spandex! 4 NIGHTWING: Hit 'em hard and fast! 5 SW: That's my line!! Page 14, panel one The Archivist and her henchmen have been defeated and lay on the beach in an unconscious jumble. The Archivist has long hair (as do most female comic characters) and her costume is white. There is html writing all over it. It should be obvious that she needed a life even more badly than those writing this looney story! 1 TEMPEST: So she's the one who transported us from the DCUniverse? 2 NIGHTWING: Sick mind. 3 ARSENAL: Let's take the babes and split before we vanish back to our crummy and severely messed up lives. Page 14, panel one All three women are standing in front of their heroes, with silly smiles on their faces. Males heads are being lowered to kiss their "heroines" in thanks. 4 TEMPEST: You can have cheeseburgers in paradise with me anytime. 5 FISHY: Yummy! 6 NIGHTWING: Stop writing about that schmuck Blade. I'm cuter!! 7 SW: --drool-- 8 ARSENAL: You can drop in on a line anytime, babe. I'll look you up! 9 WOLFIE: Drool, Arrowman, drool. Page 14, panel two If you can't guess, you shouldn't be reading this goofy story. THEY KISS! DUH! Page 15, panel one All three men begin to fade, everyone is doing the outstretched hands gesture of "no! don't leave me!" 1 NIGHTWING: Back to Blüdhaven for me.. 2 ARSENAL: This sucks! 3 WOLFIE: No, if it sucked it would feel good! 4 FISHY: It's been fun! Come back soon! 5 TEMPEST: Unfortunately, I'm back to Dolphin. --sigh-- 6 SW: Rats! Foiled again! Page 15, panel two The men have faded somewhat some more. No dialogue. Page 15, panel three The three women are standing alone. All three look depressed. 7 SW: I think I'm gonna hurl major mounds of Mister Mouse. 8 WOLFIE: I'm gonna go commit hari kari now. 9 FISHY: --sigh-- Page 16, full page The three women wake up in various positions in a cramped living room. It should be obvious that a slumber party/man bashing session has just taken place. Jolt cola cans, chocolate wrappers and videos of Mel Gibson, Chris O'Donnell and Val Kilmer movies should be scattered everywhere, as well as Cinderella and the Little Mermaid. Nightwing, Arsenal, Tempest and Titans comics should be EXTREMELY prominent as well. A box of pizza, with a couple of pieces still in the box, should be on a little coffee table in front of the couch. The TV should be showing Saturday morning cartoons and the computer should have a blinking screen. A small box onscreen says "You have new mail". All three women have this stunned look on their face as if they can't believe what they just dreamed. They are sitting up. Caption box in right bottom corner with the end credit. 1 SW: What-- 2 WOLFIE: Was-- 3 FISHY: That?