"Y'know, it's been pretty boring lately," commented Spirit Wolf, her legs swinging over the water.

"Yeah," agreed ShadowWing with a yawn.

"We need entertainment," continued Spirit Wolf, staring at the murky brown water below the bridge the two female vigilantes were perched upon.

"Badly," sighed ShadowWing in disgust. "What we need is to cause some mayhem."

"Speaking of mayhem, Wonder Wench called me last night and was firing questions at me about all manner of Native American issues. I had this feeling she was up...what are you grinning about, SW?" Spirit Wolf looked nervous. The New York costumed adventurer was grinning the most evil grin imaginable.

"Wonder Wench," ShadowWing cackled. "That's it!"

"What's it?" exclaimed Spirit Wolf as ShadowWing got her line ready to toss. "I can't fly, Belle," she added, using the other SW's real name.

"It's about you time you started then." ShadowWing threw another line and shoved in Spirit Wolf's hand. She swooped off, leaving Spirit on the bridge scratching her head.

"What's that girl up to now?" growled Spirit. She too took off, but less gracefully than ShadowWing.

"Okay, here's the deal," snickered Belle Anderson as she jerked her mask off when they entered her apartment in Manhattan. Spirit Wolf leaned down to scratch one of her wolf's head, eliciting a whine of greeting from the animal. The two wolves didn't normally go on patrol with the two women in New York, considering half the time the two women were on rooftops.

"Uh-oh," stated Spirit Wolf, heading for the bathroom to wash her make-up off.

Belle followed her. "No listen, Shadow, it's great." Belle paused for effect and Shadow Travis, aka Spirit Wolf, stared at her through the mirror as the younger woman spoke. "We steal Wonder Woman's lasso of truth and go on a information spree!" Belle giggled maniacally.

Shadow caked the make-up remover cream on her face and then turned to confront her friend. "You are wacko and in serious need of a nap."

"Oh come on," Belle wheedled, "it'll be fun. We'll hit Belfry-brains first and then go after Wingster next."

Shadow frowned and rinsed her face off in the porcelain bowl sink. "How do you plan on getting the lasso? Diana carries the thing on her person at all times. Also, I'm sure her gods would notice if something of theirs mysteriously vanished from the individual they gave it too."

"I'll think of something," said Belle confidently, patting Shadow on the back. "Leave it to me."

"Yeah, that's what has me worried, Belle. You and great ideas tend to get me in trouble." Belle merely smiled innocently. "And to boot, how are we going to get into the Batcave? Security alarms, blah blah etc.?"

"Oh pish," pooh-poohed Belle with a dismissive wave of her hand, "if we can't by-pass that we aren't worthy of the occupation vigilantes." Belle looked at Shadow hopefully. "Puh-lease?" she whined, broadening her Manhattan accent to irritate Shadow into giving in.

It worked. "All right, just don't whine, okay?" sighed Shadow. She then smiled. "I get to ask the first question to Breakfast and you get the first question to Dinner."

Belle stuck out a hand and Shadow shook it. "Deal."

"Let's get ready to rumble!" Belle was back in her ShadowWing costume and Shadow was in Spirit Wolf mode. "Okay, the puppies know what to do?"

"Yeah, yeah, get on with it! I'm gonna miss Ancient Mysteries!" growled Spirit, giving the signal to the wolves. They began to howl and whine and yip and yipe. ShadowWing pulled her cat, Black Magic, from her little carry-all on her back and whispered at her. The cat then began to run all over the roof, scratching and yowling at the top of her little lungs.

Both women grinned at each other when the front door to Diana Prince's home opened. "What the.." began Wonder Woman and the two vigilantes above her grinned even bigger.

"There it is, on her hip!" excitedly whispered Spirit Wolf. ShadowWing nodded and concentrated. The rope moved from it's position on Wonder Woman's hip just as the Amazon reached down to grab it. "Uh-oh," muttered Spirit Wolf, suddenly wishing she were anywhere but there.

"I almost got it! Man, it's heavy!" ShadowWing had her eyes squeezed shut and couldn't see a thing.

"You also caught a fish on the end of the line, ShadowWing," commented Wonder Woman casually, hanging from her lasso, surrounded by the blue light that was Belle's psionic power.

ShadowWing's eyes popped open and she grinned sheepishly. Oh, sorry, Wondy," she said apologetically.

"What are you two doing?" Belle released Diana, who landed nimbly on the roof next to Spirit Wolf.

"Uh...." Spirit Wolf tried to think of something plausible but ShadowWing didn't bother.

"We have a proposition for you." ShadowWing explained the sketchy plan while Wonder Woman tapped her foot in irritation.

"So basically, you want to torture the men," stated Diana Prince when the long and convoluted monologue finally wound down.

Spirit Wolf nodded vigorously. "It's been awful quiet lately and we've been itching to cause mischief. Tell you what," bartered Spirit in continuation, "we'll give you first rights on Batman if you'll go along with it."

Diana considered the proposition and then shook her head. "No, it has to be Superman."

"Aw, come on, Diana, don't be such a stick in the....Superman?" ShadowWing brightened considerably at the idea. "That's workable."

"No," Spirit Wolf said flatly. "I'm not getting involved with anything that has to do with Superman."

ShadowWing and Wonder Woman turned on Spirit Wolf and began to advance. "Now, Spirit," smiled Wondy, "I'll let you girls have three more chances with the lasso of truth if you let Superman be the test run."

If ShadowWing could brighten anymore, she did. "Aw, come on, Spirit, Superham will be the perfect beginning victim. We'll do auctions on the other three, selling the opportunity to the highest bidder. They'll get to pick who they do it to and the charities of our choice will get the proceeds."

Spirit Wolf stubbornly shook her head. "No."

The other two super women stood on either side of her. "I think she needs to learn how to fly without help, ShadowWing," remarked Diana carefully.

"Yep," ShadowWing agreed solemnly.

"Nope," Spirit said frantically at the same time. Her shoulders sagged and she surrendered. "All right, but if we get busted, I was forced into it, you'll swear it."

"On the Superman attack only," bartered Wonder Woman.

Spirit considered it and then nodded. "Deal. Let's go get some Superbutt."

Clark Kent was sitting at his desk, vigorously typing on a story that he was positive would push Lois' clear off the front page. It was a friendly competition that the two kept up after their marriage. Lois would boot him off with another "exclusive" interview with Superman and he'd top that story with a story on the "fallen" angel Zauriel and the knowledge of Heaven Zauriel possessed.

All in good fun.

Therefore, he was a little peeved to get a top priority message from Wonder Woman that required Superman's immediate response.

That meant the front page belonged to Lois.

She smirked at him when he skulked by to head for some discreet location to whip out the big S zoot suit. Quickly glancing around he ducked into the hall janitorial closet and scared a maintenance man. He sighed, grinned sheepishly, wiped his glasses off with a towel with a spritz of glass cleaner, and then headed for an empty office used only for last minute storage.

Thankfully it was unlocked and soon he was heading to the coordinates that Wonder Woman designated as the meeting spot. He landed, brushing the spit curl out of his eyes and looked around in puzzlement. There was no one there.

He began to switch his vision to x-ray just as a golden object looped over his head and pulled itself tight around his arms. He looked at the object in surprise and recognized Wonder Woman's Lasso of Truth.

"Diana?" he called out puzzledly. The rope pulled itself taught and pulled him backward to the ground. He landed on his butt with a thud and before him stood three women high-fiving each other in triumph.

"That was too easy!" crowed ShadowWing, her face pure mischeif.

"Yeah, but moving him is gonna be the hard part," added Spirit Wolf in warning.

"Lois is gonna love this front page story," snickered Diana, blue eyes twinkling.

"What's going on?" asked Superman, starting to get a bad feeling about the whole thing.

Spirit bounced around him, wolves at her heels. "Double double toil and trouble, fire burn and cauldron bubble!" she cackled in her best Hollywood witch imitation. "You are our prisoner to do with as we please." She stopped in front of him and grinned a cocky grin. "In short, we ask you questions, you give us answers. Then we auction them off to the highest bidder. All proceeds go to the charity of our choice."

Superman rolled his eyes. "I gave up a by-line for this?" he muttered in disbelief.

ShadowWing patted him on the head like he were a disobedient child. "Ah, Mr. Superham lose his next journalism award? Poor baby." He grunted something not repeatable in public. "Your language, mister. There are ladies present!" He refrained from comment considering he was helpless for the time being. He promised himself retribution when all was done though.

ShadowWing merely grinned, no doubt having picked up his thoughts. Her words confirmed it. "We better hurry up, ladies. He's actually contemplating murder. Males egos, y'know." The three women nodded emphatically.

"Okay, first question," began Wonder Woman. "Who really runs the JLA?"

"Martian Manhunter." Superman grimaced. Batman wasn't going to be pleased. The women frowned.

"That can't be right!" exclaimed Spirit Wolf. "I thought it was general whoever-opens-their-mouth-first-with-each-new-development leadership?"

Wonder Woman glowered. "It's supposed to be. Does Batman know about this?" she queried Superman.

He grimaced again. "No, it was an arrangement between J'onn and I. Humor the Batman but don't let him know who's really running the show."

ShadowWing giggled. "Ooooh, Grim and Gritty is gonna scowl himself to death on this one!"

"I get the next one!" pressed Spirit Wolf. Diana bowed graciously to her, indicating the alien superhero was all hers. "How old is Lois and how much does she weigh?"

"Thirty-two years old and about 156 pounds." Superman's eyes widened. "She's gonna kill me."

"Unless Batman gets to you first!" ShadowWing corrected. "Third question is mine. "How do you hide that cape of yours under all your clothes?"

"Rubber bands."

The women looked at each other. "Rubber bands?" they echoed in unison.

"I do NOT want to know!" Spirit Wolf stated firmly, backing away and making a cross with her two index fingers as if warding away evil spirits.

"Do those glasses really have a prescription?" Diana threw out the next question.

"A slight one, but not much. These are the best you can do?" Superman sighed.

Spirit patted him on the head. "Oh don't worry, we're just getting warmed up. These are test questions, to make sure this is actually working." She pulled out a War and Peace book of questions, causing Superman to shudder and whimper.

"Question Number One," intoned Diana, grabbing the pages from Spirit.

Three hours later, Superman passed out, groaning and whimpering.

He was so dead. There wasn't a person he knew who wasn't going to kill him.

An anonymous posting to the usenet list that Oracle maintained for the superhero community became the top gossip. Oracle dutifully made sure Batman took note of it and the two immediately began researching to find out if this mysterious posting was a gag or factual.

After heavy hacking and tracing network lines, Oracle discovered that the posting came from a public library computer in northern Idaho. Oracle was amused to discover that PC was a 486 with a 14.4 modem. How could someone so un-technological have pulled off what they claim to have done?

Batman's inquiry into Superman found that this advertisement posted was the one subject the Man of Steel refused to comment upon. The normally staid and calm Clark Kent actually got a little...testy with Bruce Wayne when asked. This seemed to verify the claim.

"I don't get it. How could they have questioned Superman and received these answers?" Oracle mused seconds before she shoved a spoonful of Rocky Road ice cream into her mouth.

Batman's frown on the computer screen in front of her would have been intimdating if not for the crumb of cheesecake on his lower lip. He had obviously eaten before calling her. She surreptiously began wiping her lip, hoping he'd get the message.

He did.

The scowl deepened and the offending crumb was wiped away by a black gloved finger. "Read me the ad again," he rumbled, "Maybe I'll catch something hearing it outloud."

Oracle cleared her throat of melted ice cream particles and began to read the printout of the advertisement. "To the highest bidder questions asked of Superman. Things you have always wondered but didn't have the nerve to ask the Man of Steel. Highest bid received will get the full 100 questions. Second highest bid receives the top 25 questions with more questionable answers. All proceeds will go to various charities, including MDS, AIDS, and kidney dialysis. Please reply to this specific posting on this usenet list."

Batman grunted and the two began to think outloud. "Could this be an idea of Superman's to get money for charity works?" mused Batman, drumming his fingers on his computer console.

"And made up bogus questions and answers?" added Oracle. "He is a writer. His book hit the best sell list for a time and his journalism awards are numerous, proving his gift for spinning a yarn."

"How about Blue Beetle and Booster Gold?" Batman switched tactic. Such underhanded machinations were beneath even Superman.

"They made up bogus questions?" Oracle thought about it. "But why would Superman refuse to comment on the whole incident then? Either he'd support the questions or blow their ruse." Silence descended once again. "How about Guy Gardener?"

"Not smart enough to kidnap Superman and try this outrageous stunt." Batman huffed at the merest idea of Guy Gardner attempting such a feat. "How about Green Lantern and the Flash? They seem to have that annoying personality that could attempt such a thing. Superman would be more hesitant in exposing their mischief."

"Would they have the nerve either?" Oracle queried. "They idolize him an awful lot. Maybe with encouragement, but I doubt it seriously. They seem a little more classy than that."

"Hmmm," was all Batman would put forth.

"How about Miss Anderson and Ms. Travis?" Alfred intoned in his stuffiest butler tone. "They have absolutely no respect for any of you."

"Not even they are that stupid!" Batman exclaimed. "The idea has merit but there is no way they could pull it off, not without Superman being a willing accomplice."

"Then who?" Alfred pressed. Both Batman and Oracle shrugged.

"I don't know, but I'm going to bid to find out!" chirped Oracle, her green eyes flashing with delight. "It's gonna be fun!"

There were twelve bids all total. The three women were disappointed in the number but pleased with the final total amount going to charity. Clark Kent wisely kept his mouth shut. He just verified that the questions were going to an acceptable party, which the women assured him was taken into consideration. It was all in good fun, and not meant to cause a blowing of secret identities, or other such issues. He settled with that, warned Lois of the upcoming auction and watched as his wife get outbid.

He was still dead though. The purchaser sent selected questions to Lois.

"One hundred and fifty-six pounds!" She began to beat him on the head with the closest hard object (a spatula) that she could find in the kitchen. "And my cooking isn't that bad!"

Clark shielded his head, not that it would have mattered, and protested in his defense, "I looked at the scales when you checked them that very morning and that's what it said!" He dodged a kick that would have caused a normal human male great discomfort. "And some of your food is tolerable."

"Tolerable!" she shrieked, and threw the lobster she had been getting ready to prepare at him. "You will sleep at the WatchTower tonight, buddy!" she spat and marched out of the kitchen.

Clark sighed heavily, picked up the phone, and called Smallville, Kansas. "Hello, Pa. Can I have my old room back for a couple of days?"

The healthy sum for the full 100 questions were causing the three mayhem-causing auctioneers to giggle all the way to the bank. First Bank of New York, that is, with a considerable corporate share-holding owned by Anderson Enterprises. Diana, Shadow and Belle were assured that the money would be dispensed with as ordered the next business day.

"Who do we tag next?" Belle bounced up and down excitedly.

Shadow gave slow, deliberate grin. "Why don't we auction off who gets to tag the next set of questions at say...Batman?"

Diana shook her head. "Aquaman."

"Azrael!" protested Belle.

"Azrael," scoffed Shadow, tossing her brown-black hair over her shoulder. "He's so unworldly that we don't even need the lasso to get the info we need."

"Okay, no Azrael," conceded Belle. She pondered a moment. "How about Martian Manhunter?"

"He'd be hard to catch. His invisibility plus his corporeal tricks would make it almost impossible," Diana pointed out. "Good point," nodded Shadow. "I recommend...I'm not sure. We'll have to think on this."

"But Superman is a good lesson to them all that they are not impervious to such dastardly tricks." Belle snickered a melodramatic evil snicker, causing the other two women to burst into laughter.

"Think anyone's figured out who set this up?" asked Shadow, dodging a rollerblader barreling down the street.

"If anyone has, it's Batman. Either way, no one is saying anything if they suspect." Diana looked around. "I think it's time we parted ways. If one of us thinks of who's next, we get in touch." Everyone nodded their agreement and Wonder Woman launched herself in the air and flew away.

"Munchies, Shadow?" suggested Belle.

"A good steakhouse please. I need real food, not this eloquent crap you've been shoving down my throat."

"It was Belle and Shadow, no doubts." Batman shook his head in denial. "Yes, I swear. Very few people call me 'Babsy'." Oracle grinned. "Okay, only Belle has called me Babsy. Thanks for the front money by the way. You should the questions they came up with. God, the man must be embarrassed."

"Forward them to...thanks." Batman read the letter Oracle had forwarded him. His eyes widened, well the white eyeslits widened, in shocked horror. "I'd have not said anything either. He can't complain because the money goes to a good cause. It seems they made sure that you already knew who he was to begin with, thus not giving away his secret identity in any shape or form." Batman gave a slow smile. "Lois Lane is going to kill him."

"He already sent word to the WatchTower. He's in Kansas for a couple of weeks, visiting the folks." They exchanged knowing looks that said, 'No his butt got kicked out for a couple of weeks until the red head cooled down.'

"I still want to know how they pulled this off," mused Oracle outloud.

"Wonder Woman's Lasso of Truth."

Oracle blinked. "They stole it? How'd they do that?"

"Diana willing participated. It was probably her idea to go after Superman." Batman began to tick off his reasons on his fingers. "One. Shadow is intimidated by Superman because he's an alien. She's reconciled with J'onn's alien status only because J'onn's forcibily made her accept him. Superman hasn't bothered. Two. Belle would rather have gone after me or Nightwing. Her greatest joy is to see us humbled. That, and she wouldn't have chosen Superman for the same reasons we excluded Green Lantern and Flash. She idolizes him too much for that. Three. Wonder Woman has always found Superman attractive and vice versa. She would have made the suggestion and with her to back them up, the other two would go along with it. Four. He's susceptible to magic. The lasso is magical in origin. Diana doesn't let it out of her sight. Therefore..."

"Diana was in on it too. How unlike her!" Oracle finished.

"Unlike her or not, this little fiasco must not happen again. Make sure that information is erased, Oracle." The screen blipped off.

Oracle leaned back in her wheelchair. A sly grin crossed her lips. She pushed the save button and stated to thin air. "Shhyeah. Right."

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