"What is a man?"

This is a question I have been asked more than once. Every time, I struggle to find an answer to the question. Thus far, I have been unsuccessful.

Do you know what a Knight is? Yes, you probably do. I'm sure you've heard about them. They have a very bad reputation, often referred to as murderers and manipulators. In some areas, being a Knight can get you lynched, if you're lucky. I'm sure you knew this already.

I'm also quite sure that you would freak out if I told you that I was a Knight, which I am. Mind you, I'm quite different from the stereotypical view of a Knight. I cannot lift you with my mind and throw you across the room, nor do I have any wish to. I cannot get inside of your mind and tell you what to think. I cannot bend you in whatever direction I want. These are not things that I do. What I do is kill other Knights.

I am a Slayer. My name is Black Adder.

Now, you might be asking why a Knight would go and kill other Knights. It has to do with a gigantic Knight War that occurred more than a hundred years. This war saw the rise of Rogue Knights, those few Knights who become corrupted an actively attempt to cause as much terror and misery as they can. Additionally, it gave rise to Knights so zealous, that they were just as destructive. These factors gave rise to Shadow Hawke, the Legendary Knight Slayer. When the war was done, Shadow Hawke continued to train Slayers like myself. Think of us as Police Knights: we keep others Knights in their place. If that made no sense, think of Knight society as a line. Ideally, every Knight will stand in line where they should. Of course, this never happened, because Rogue Knight stepped out of line to make everyone else unhappy. Overly zealous Knight then stepped out in an attempt to regain control. Now, imagine that Slayers walk up and down this line to make sure everyone is in place. If they are not, we shove them back into line where they belong. If they refuse to comply, we just remove them from the line and everything returns to normal until we find another troublemaker. Thus, Slayers are the peacekeepers, and sometimes the peacemakers, among Knights.

And no, I still don't have an answer to my question.

You might be asking what the life of a Slayer is like. It's lonely as hell. Though we all belong to a brotherhood, Slayers operate best when alone. We spend 70% of our lives with no physical contact from others. We build up emotional shields so that these feelings do not inhibit our work. This is how the Slayers reputation as emotionless killers began. In order to do what we do, we can't feel. We have no friends because we may have to turn around and kill them at any moment. We have no lovers because we eventually forget how to love if we aren't careful. Many of us never even learn. If you were to ask me what the best and worst occupations in the universe were, I would answer both question with "Knight Slayer."

I've known about Slayer who killed themselves because their life seemed devoid of meaning, just kill or be killed. I've known of Slayers who wanted more than anything to just die because they could do nothing to remedy their loneliness. I myself have considered it from time to time. "Do it for the public" you say? The public doesn't give a shit about what we do. To them, we're all just Knights. We receive no thanks for what we do. We only receive condemnation for being Knights. Be honest, and tell me that if you lived this kind of life, you wouldn't consider it. Even other Knights hate us.

When we slay Rogue Knights, we are congratulated. We we slay Knights that have become dangerous, we are denounced. When dealing with Rogue Knights, the opposite is true. There is no middle ground, because we are the middle ground. We cannot win. Some Knights pretend to support us, simply waiting for an opportunity to remove us with a quick twist in the spine. Slayers are empaths, and we can get a sense of how people feel, but when you deal with those who can disguise their feelings, and make us believe whatever they want, how do you trust them? You can't. Slayers also have this ability, to disguise their feelings, and so we cannot even trust each other completely. Thus, we live our lives out alone. When we are needed, we are called. When we are needed no more, we are persecuted and killed. We are bombs for hire. We are disposable heroes.

"What is a man?" I'm getting an idea of the answer.

If a Rogue Knight is terrorizing a community, they call one of us. When the threat is gone, they throw stones, curse us, and demand that we leave. It has become a practice of mine to just call them "Hypocrites" and leave. If another Rogue Knight shows up later, they call on us again. Although they have scarred our hearts, we answer their call regardless. We are sworn to protect them. When the threat is again dispatched the demand we leave, without even a thank you. When a young boy tried to thank me once, his mother scolded him as if speaking to me was a great sin. People like this are not worth our time. You may ask why we continue to protect them if they are not worth our time. Slayers have sworn an oath to protect civilians from Knights, and to protect Knights from themselves. It's a vicious circle, and we are doomed to remain in it forever.

You might say that you support me, now that you've heard my plight. If you so support me, then take up my mantle. Train to become a Slayer. What's wrong? Why won't you do it? If you supported Slayers, you would not hesitate. The truth is that you do not support us, and you never will.

"What is a man?"

A man is a miserable pile of secrets, festering in his own lies. I give them protection that I sometimes believe they do not deserve. Do I hate man? Often times, I do. To them, I have given my best effort, I have given them my life. I have given them my soul. Yet, they do not care why should they? I'm just a Knight, one incapable of feeling. A machine.

Machines do not cry.

If I am a machine, then tell me why my tears put me to sleep at night.