MOVIE OF A LIFETIME:
Standard Disclaimer!! Shade belongs to Shade, Boomer and Mariko are mine (he asked first, please do the same). StarFox and company belong to Nintendo. Neither Shade or I have money please dont, sue. (grins)
"Man I can't wait to see the look on Katt's face when she hears this!" I said, piloting the newly remodeled Tint at maximum speed toward the Great Fox. I had just been hired on for the main role in a re-make of an old earth movie "007:Goldeneye". I was to play the spy James Bond. The name didn't exactly sound great to me, but research told me that it was made during the time that all they wanted from a movie was sex, violence, and special effects. I hoped this movie had a plot. One thing Katt was really going to like was that I was to pick my co-star to play a young "Russian", whatever that was. I had no idea who was to play the main evil, but I was told that he had already been hired.
I docked at the Great Fox, forgetting to get permission and setting off various alarms (as usual). I climbed out of Tint and stood there, waiting for StarFox to make their usual sprint to the docking bay, armed with lasers and the sort. "Shade?! Dang it, Shade! Get permission next time! You drive me crazy whenever you land here!" Fox yelled at me when he got to the docking bay.
"Sorry. I forgot. I was in a hurry. Meet me in the rec room! I have an announcement!" I said, sprinting down the hall, "Get Katt and the rest of the crew, too!"
When everyone was settled in at the rec room, I began my announcement. "Ok, everyone, you're all probably wondering 'Why the hell did Shade make us stop sleeping and get to the rec room?' Well, here's your answer. I've just been chosen to take the lead role in an old earth movie called "007:Goldeneye". And, I have been told to choose a co-star from anywhere I please, as long as it's a she."
I was interrupted by Falco (big surprise) when I was about to choose. "Are you telling me that YOU got a role in that movie, too?! My God, that makes three of us!"
"Who's the third?" I asked. Katt giggled, "Me!"
"Well, there goes my choice for a co-star… now who am I going to choose?"
"Why not Mari?" Fox asked.
"Ahhh… Fox? I don't want to make you mad, and there's a lot of 'sex scenes' between me and the co-star. I knew that Katt and I could easily fake it and not get anyone mad, but Mariko and I? That might make you a little angry. Who else do I know who I could choose?"
"Boomer, a.k.a. Beatrice Gray. She works at Corneria. I could have you meet her." Mariko suggested.
"Umm… Mari, I said someone I KNOW. I've only seen pictures of her." I said.
"Who showed you pictures of her?" Mariko asked.
"Falco did." I replied.
"Falco…" Katt growled.
"Hey! Go easy on me! I sketch everyone I meet, ok? I have more pictures of you than I do anyone, Katt!" Falco said, panicking. I sat down (I was NOT going to be standing up this entire discussion!).
"Well, ok," I said, "You arrange for us to meet, and I'll ask her."
"Should I arrange it as a 'date', Shade?" Mari joked. "Sure, why not?" I said, meaning it.
I met Beatrice in a fancy, FANCY restaurant. The water cost five credits alone! 'I'm gonna get you for this, Mari…' I thought to myself, knowing that Beatrice's dinner as well as mine was on MY budget. "So, um… how are you doing?" I asked.
"Oh, uh, er, um, nervous, I guess…" Boomer answered, "you?"
"Oh! Fine, great, perfect, not nervous at all, heh heh…" I stammered.
"What's your name? I mean, I was told by Mari that you were Katt's brother, but that was all."
"I'm Shade. Shade Monroe. I was meaning to ask you about something."
"Oh? What's that?" Bea asked me. "I've been chosen for the lead role in a re-make of an old earth movie called "007:Goldeneye. I was told to choose a co-star who was beautiful and intelligent. You fit beautiful, and from what I heard, over-qualify in the brains department. You want the job?"
"Oh my go-, yes!"
"I haven't told you about the movie, though! I have the script right here, if you want to look at it."
"Er, oh, yes, of course, sure!" I handed her the script, and her expression changed around rapidly throughout the reading.
"Can I decide after we eat?" she said, after reading for about 10 min.
'Why not, this is a date, isn't it?' I thought, "Sure, go ahead. Just don't forget to give me my script back."
"How old are you?" She asked suddenly.
"20, why?"
"It says here that James Bond is in his late 30's.," she said.
"Oh, well, the actor who played him wasn't. Besides, don't cats pretty much look the same after adolescence?" I said as a joke, laughing.
"Yes, I guess they do!" she laughed as well. I couldn't keep my eyes off her. There were only four people in my life that have made me stare like that (including her), Nightingale, Katt, Mariko, and now Beatrice Gray. After the meal, Beatrice said,
"I've decided to do it. It actually sounds like fun!" "Great!" I said, "here's the studio address. Meet me there tomorrow morning, 8:00 sharp."
"Sure," Bea said, "see you there!"
Afterwards, at the studio, all of the main characters were to be introduced. The fact that we already pretty much knew each other was startling. The cast was as follows:
JAMES BOND: SHADE MONROE
NATALYA: BEATRICE GRAY
ALEC TREVELYAN: FALCO LOMBARDI
BORIS: SLIPPY TOAD
XENIA: KATT MONROE
Q: BELTINO TOAD
MONEYPENNY: MARIKO (please see us afterwards for a last name, please)
EX-KGB : FOX McCLOUD
OROMOUV: PEPPY HARE
MISHKIN: BILL GRAY
…: … …
The list went on and on. Slippy was quite happy having a decent role, although he said James Pond would have hit with the amphibious crowd well. "What? Why are you all laughing? It would! I'm serious!" Slippy said after everyone in the room, including the director, broke up into laughter.
"No offence, Slippy, but I don't think that your voice goes well with 'Pond. James Pond.' It sounds so much better with a B instead of a P." I replied after I attempted to stop laughing. However, my remark just got the laughing worse. It took three hours of laughing and bad jokes until we were finally ready to start learning our lines. That part went fast, because everyone was eager to get on with the costumes and the movie.
"For England, James." Falco said.
"For England, Alec." I replied.
"CUT! Perfect! Now try it with the explosives."
"Why can't we update these guns with our lasers? Things would make much more sense then." Falco said.
"Because, Falco, we're trying to do a re-make, not update! We want the movie done with Lylatians instead of humans, not our technology over theirs. How many movies set in the medieval time period do you see with Arwings? None, if they're done right. Can we get back to the movie, now, sir?" Fox said, impatient to get to his part. Meanwhile, Katt was supposedly doing her sex scene in the boat. I hoped they wouldn't have to do any retakes. I kicked the cameraman repeatedly after we had found out that he had purposely removed the film from the camera for the sole purpose of a retake.
Mariko, Katt, and Boomer also beat him. Fox, Falco, and Peppy broke it up. We had to pay the medical fines for a dislocated shoulder, but that was all, because the jury said he deserved it. He was fired later and they had Boomer take over the camera when she wasn't acting. The pictures were better and the scenes faster, nicer, and much more efficient.
Boomer and I had done a lot of talking to each other during the half a year it took to make the movie. The occasional mission was flown, but we always came back in perfect condition and the repairs were done by Slippy and Beltino when they weren't busy acting. You'd have to admit, hearing Slippy say, "I am invINCible!" while doing a macho pose was hilarious, but so was Katt and her orgasmic killing sprees. We ran into some trouble during the end of the movie, when Falco had to fall to his doom. We ended up having some machinery and chains damage his wings (at least look like it, stay with me here, people!) Anyway, Boomer and I were getting to know each other pretty well, and we had done all of the other scenes for the movie, and the only scenes left for us were the sex scenes. Now I started getting nervous.
"Uh, sir, may I talk to you for a moment?" I asked the director one not-so-fine day.
"Sure, Shade, what is it?"
"Uh, if I may ask, could we just 'edit out' the sex scenes and have the movie done?"
"Shade, the reason I let you pick your co-star is because that way you wouldn't get nervous doing these things. What, did you just pick a random person off of the street?"
"No, you guys already took my first and second choices, so a friend had us meet and I felt like she fit the part. Nothing wrong with Beatrice, is there?" I said, worried.
"No, no, she's doing a great job! It's just, well, you know what sells movies… I just gotta make this movie sell so that I can pay you guys and maybe make a profit. Anything wrong with that?"
"No, sir, as a soldier, I understand that you gotta do what you gotta do, but, why me?" I complained.
"Because it's your 'duty', soldier. You knew what you had to do when you signed up, and so did she. So just get the scenes done and get on with your lives. Oh, and leave smiling!"
"Yes, sir, I will." I said, leaving and putting a fake smile on my face.
"So, how did the talk go, tiger?" Katt asked, playfully punching me in the shoulder. "Well, he said no and told me to smile as I left, so I smiled and left, and am now going to go tell Boomer." I replied, hoping this won't ruin any relationship that was starting.
"Oh, I see… well, if I could do it, so can you n' Boomer! I just imagined I was alone with Falco. Imagine that you're alone with your lover and act that way." Little did she know that I WAS going to be with the one person who I could consider my lover, despite the fact that we hadn't even kissed yet, or openly told each other that we loved each other. We just talked and saw movies with Falco, Katt, Fox, and Mariko. The director told us that in the 'nude' scenes we could wear underwear because the camera shots would be above the waist. I was happy with that. So, it appeared, was Boomer. The scenes, oh god, the first time I was in bed with a woman, despite our intentions, that will be in my memory forever. When we kissed, she actually did it romantically, with the tongue and everything. I just went along with it. When we were done, I asked her if she would like to go on a date.
"Uh… I think that movie got to your head, Shade." she said.
"No, Beatrice, I mean it. Dinner, movie, whatever you want. A date. You know, something that a boyfriend and girlfriend do. I just want to see if my feelings are real or just a result from the acting." I said.
"Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt to try. I'll give you the details later. Here's my number at the base." She said, coolly.
"Here's mine. I will, most likely, be at the Great Fox, though, so you can try and reach me there." There I was, getting ready for my first real date.
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