*Another quality program brought to you by; SFHP (StarFox Hotel Productions) *

Mega-Disclaimer: StarFox, StarWolf and all related characters belong to Nintendo, Inc. Batman and all related characters (including blant parodies of) belong to DC Comics/Warner Bros. Boomer Gray and Mariko are figments of my imagination, Shade Monroe belongs to himself (Last I looked at least...). PLEASE DON'T SUE ME, I have no money and this is all in good fun ... Honest ... (evil grins)

~ Author's err ... Director's notes: Per Tengi, I (A.K.A. ShadowWing) am directing this section of out little TV Takeover ... maybe it has something to do with the fact I'm a rabid Bat-Fan?! ~

~ Director's Notes: (Again ... ) : For any Bat-Fan who comes across this little tale and actually reads it (without the urge to do great bodily harm to my person) a note on the continuity, there is none!!! I took a bit from the movies, a smidge from the comics, a dose from the 60's TV show, and a chunk from the current animated cartoons. Mix then together, add StarFox, some original characters, and a real person or two, here's the result. ~

~ Director's Notes: (Last one! Honest!!!) : Notes on the costumes, all of them are based on the ones seen in the current Animated series and/or comics. I will be writing this as campy as the 60's TV show, but I'm not so heartless as to use those costumes, ugh......~

I was a quiet night in Gotham City, across the night sky a large hot air balloon in the shape of a large white fish bearing a big red smile drifted along. Various Gothamites looked up at the odd site wondering if it was some sort of publicity stunt. Suddenly objects were thrown out of the balloon's basket, when they landed they seemed like ordinary squeak toys, made for children, that was before they exploded releasing a foul smelling gas into the unsuspecting public.

When word of the unusual happenings reached the ears of Police Commissioner Bill Gray, he sighed, there was only one person he could call on to investigate such a crime, he calmly pressed the button on his desk that would bring the signal on the roof to life.

A short hour later found the Commissioner on the roof waiting for the familiar shadows to appear and aid Gotham again.

"Good Evening Commissioner!" rang a voice from the shadows,

"BatWolf." Nodded Gray, "Where is your partner?"

"Robin?" replied the Dark Knight, "Why he is right..." He turned, "Robin?"

"I ain't coming out!!!"

SW; CUT!!!!!!!! That's not in the script Tengi.
Tengi; I am not coming out dressed like this.
SW; You agreed, at least it's the current Robin costume.
Tengi; You threatened.
SW; You wanted me to do this.
Shade; She's got you there.
Tengi; Shut up.
SW: (sigh) Can we take this from Bill's line?
Tengi; Do I have a choice?
SW; No, and ... ACTION!

"BatWolf," nodded Gray toward the Dark Knight, "Robin," glancing at the youth in bright red, green, yellow and black. "Batgirl." As his gaze traveled to the young female dog dressed in similar attire to her mentor. "We have an odd case for the three ... "

"Don't you mean four Commissioner?" called a voice from the shadows.

Four heads turned to see a young muscular cat dressed in blue and black costume leaped from the shadows and into view, there was a smile on his black furred face, and a white bandana across his forehead. He turned his mask-covered eyes toward Batgirl giving her ha wink. She sighed.

"Shadewing." Rumbled Batwolf, "how good of you to join us tonight." He then turned to the Commissioner, "What seems to be the problem?"

As the Commissioner relayed the strange goings on something else fishy was going on across town....

All; * groans *
SW; Cut! What now?!
Tengi; That was an awful pun ShadowWing.
SW; Your point would be?
All; * silence *
SW; I thought so... ACTION!!

At the Gotham City Gem Mart

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!" The Maniacal laughter of the Joker rang out before the purple suited vulpine made his entrance ...

SW; (in small voice) cut...
All; * shutters *
Fox: What?
SW; Um we...were...a bit surprised that's all...
Fox: WHAT!
SW; You and that evil maniacal laugh, it just doesn't fit... that's all...
Fox; Oh.
SW; * swallows * Action...

"Now while Bat-Fool and his merry band play Chase-The-Squeak-Toy, we will help ourselves to the lovely and very valuable Eye of Neptune Emeralds." Several guards charged up to handle the uninvited guest. "Oh bother, oh well! HARLEY!"

The very shapely red and back figure of Harley Quinn peeked out. "Yes Puddin?"

The Joker pointed to the guards, "Would you be a dear and take care of them for me?"

"Sure thing!" With a series of leaps and bounds the Joker's Jester Sidekick happily thrashed the guards while using a rubber chicken.

"Now where are those pesky Emeralds at..." mused the Joker, he then walked by a huge sign that proclaimed:

Five minutes later Harley Quinn was interrupted from her thrashing by the sound of her beloved Mr. J. screaming his head off. As she sprinted toward the display she fully expected to see him caught in some trap, instead she spied him standing in front of an empty display case holding what appeared to be a card of some type. "What happened?" she asked.

"We've been beaten to the punch!" Snarled the Joker.

"By whom?" asked Harley

The Joker just held up the card, it was plain white with a purple cat symbol printed on the front. "Kattwoman," He snarled, "and I know just where to find the little claim jumper..."

Harley and the Joker then left the Gem Mart and headed off into the night.

On the other side of the city the chaos that had erupted from the Joker's distraction was finally under control. "Well." Stated Batgirl, "Looks like we are done for the night."

"Don't be so sure Batgirl." Replied BatWolf. "I believe that this was only a distraction for us, the real crime is elsewhere. But which fiend is behind it?"

SW; (God this is sooooo campy, oh well!!)

"Let's see," stated Robin, "That hot air balloon was shaped like a fish with a big grin..."

"All the squeak toys were pink, purple or green." Continued Shadewing. "Which of Gotham's Most Wanted likes that color scheme?"

"The Joker." Stated everybody.

"So what's the real crime?" Asked Batgirl.

The special communicator to Commissioner in the WolfMobile..

Wolf: WolfMobile?!?!?
SW: CUT! (groan) Not again... You got a better name for it?
Wolf: * silence *
SW; I repeat myself. I thought so. ACTION!

The special communicator to Commissioner in the WolfMobile began to beep furiously. "I believe Batgirl that your question is about to be answered." Replied BatWolf walking to the communicator. After several minutes BatWolf returned to his partners with grim news. "As I had feared this was only a diversion, while we were saving the good citizens of Gotham, the Gem Mart has be robbed! Come! To the ... Bwhahahahah!!!!"

SW: CUT!!! Wolf...
Wolf: * gasp * *snicker * I'm sorry... but this script...
Falco: This script is sorry.
SW: Shut up Falco. Are you done Wolf?
Wolf; *nodding wiping tears from his eyes *
SW; (Give me strength...) All right, from the top of Wolf's line, and ACTION!

After several minutes BatWolf returned to his partners with grim news. "As I had feared this was only a diversion, while we were saving the good citizens of Gotham, the Gem Mart has be robbed! Come! To the ... Bwhahahahah!!!!"

Wolf; * on the ground holding his sides laughing *
SW: CUT! * fuming * O'DONNELL!
All: * groans *
Wolf: * gasp * I can't help it! That line is so bad!
SW; I know, that's what this is suppose to be! Now let's try this again!
Boomer; Does he have to say it?
SW: * nods *
Mariko: * pulls out mallet * I have an idea.
Wolf: Oh no, not again!
Mariko: Yep, it's the only way to keep you from cracking up. * WHAM *
BatWolf: What seems to be the problem?
SW: Uh, no problem. You're making a movie to discourage criminal activity.
BatWolf: Ah anything to assist the good citizens of Gotham.
SW: (Oh Lord..) Yeah, sure, whatever, here's the script.
BatWolf: Indeed.
SW; * shutters * ACTION!

After several minutes BatWolf returned to his partners with grim news. "As I had feared this was only a diversion, while we were saving the good citizens of Gotham, the Gem Mart has be robbed! Come! To the WolfMobile!"

As the Defenders of Gotham raced to the Gem Mart to pick up any clues to the robbery a shady deal was going on at the elite night club know as the 'Falcon's Nest':

SW: * hits Wolf with a mallet the second he's off camera.*
All but Wolf: * sigh with relief *
SW: (There back to normal)

The Falcon's Nest was owned by one Falco Lombardi, on the surface he appeared to be a well to do businessman, but the Gotham's shady underworld he was the criminal mastermind The Falcon. Though the Nightclub was profitable, Falcon wasn't above padding its income with a sale of a stolen item of two. Hence his current activity of examining the Eye of Neptune Emeralds just brought to him by Kattwoman.

"Very nice my dear." He muttered, "Now how much did you want for these baubles?"

"As much as they are worth of course." Purred the Feline Master Thief.

Falcon smiled, "Well I believe 'priceless' is a bit out of the average black market buyers range, so are you willing to take a small discount?"

Kattwoman pouted, "If you insist."

Any further dealings were interrupted by the sound of the glass front door shattering into a million pieces as two figures stalked in. "You miserable little two bit thief! Give me my Emeralds!" Ranted the Joker with Harley in tow.

"Your Emeralds?" Hissed Kattwoman. "I didn't see your name on them!"

"You sorry excuse for a Cat-Thief! You can't even make your own distraction! You had to use mine!"

"Why you miserable clown!" In a burst of Feline Fury Kattwoman lunged at the Joker claws ready.

"Oh well. HARLEY!" Bellowed the Joker. On cue Harley leapt at Kattwoman, rubber chicken at ready.

As Kattwoman was kicked into a few tables the Joker struck up a conversation with Falcon. "Look, I'll make a deal with you if Harley wins you give us the cash for the Emerald instead. What do you say?" The Joker pleaded.

"I don't care who wins." Muttered Falcon, "I will be happy to purchase the Emeralds, but I will take the repair costs for the club out as well as my share of the profits." He winced as he spotted Harley being tossed into a stack of chairs and several shattering on impact.

"Of course, of course." Replied the Joker, "Now how much were you willing to give Katty over there?" Before a new agreement could be reached, the skylight above shattered and in dropped BatWolf, Robin and Batgirl on Bat-Lines while Shadewing glided in on his wings, and smacked right into a wall...

SW: Cut! Shade, are you all right?
Shade; Owwwww...
Boomer: Very dramatic Shay, criminals everywhere are quaking in laughter.
Shade: Hey! This costume didn't come with instructions you know!
SW: Gah! Props Crew! We need a new brake-away skylight! Now!
Prop Crew; No problem! * Leon and Pigma come in carrying a new skylight *
SW: Set Crew! Get the sugar-glass cleaned up, just the skylights stuff!
Set Crew: Right... * Andrew comes in sweeping up glass *
SW: Okay, Wolf, Boomer, Tengi, and Shade, back on the roof.
Tengi: The benefits of long tights, no glass in my shorts..
Boomer: But glass in my fur...
Wolf; ... up my nose ...
Shade: I GET THE IDEA! I'M SORRY! NO COMMENT FALCO!
Falco: Dang it.
SW: Okay we are going to take it from the end of Fox's last line, ACTION!

Before a new agreement could be reached, the skylight above shattered and in dropped BatWolf, Robin and Batgirl on Bat-Lines while Shadewing glided in on his wings.

"Doesn't anybody know how expensive glass is these days?!" Ranted Falcon, though one look at the Dark Knight's expression stopped him from pressing the point. He decided to bow out of this little deal and hid behind the bar.

"Your plan has failed Joker! Now hand over the Emeralds!" Snarled BatWolf.

"I'd love to Batsy, I really would, but you see I don't have them... She does!" He helpfully pointed to Kattwoman who was still fighting Harley Quinn.

"Oh NOW you admit that I got to them first! Ooo! Come here clown!" Hissed Kattwoman.

"I'd love to Kitty, I really would, but as you can see I'm a bit occupied right now." The front of the Joker's purple coat was currently being held by BatWolf, neither looked happy.

"Mr. J!" Yelled Harley as she lunged toward BatWolf, "Leave my puddin alone!"

That attack was quickly cut off as Shadewing tackled Harley in mid-air. "No you don't Quinn!"

"Hey leggo Cat!" Snarled Harley as she turned her weighted rubber-chicken to Shadewing's head.

BatWolf turned to the Joker, "It's over Joker, give it up."

"Only if you smell my flower first..." The Joker smiled, as a stream of acid shot from the flower straight at the Dark Knight. BatWolf dodged the lethal liquid and connected a killer left hook to the Joker's jaw.

The Crown Prince of Crime stopped laughing after that.

Wolf: Whoo Hoo! I finally got Fox McCloud!!! * Does a little victory dance *
SW: Cut!! Wolf please contain yourself.
Fox: Ow...
Tengi: You only because you're a GOOD guy here.
Wolf: What?!
SW: Yep, if you were the Joker and Fox was Batman, he'd win.
Wolf: Aw man! * sulks *
SW: (sigh) Okay Katt we'll pick it up with your next line. ACTION!

"Well this little kitty is taking her Emeralds elsewhere..." As Kattwoman turned to slip out of the club she plowed right into Robin and Batgirl.

"Going somewhere?" Asked Batgirl, Kattwoman lunged in attack. The next thing Batgirl knew she was flying into the decorative fountain on the clubs main floor.

Robin lunged at Kattwoman to try and stop her from escaping, Kattwoman smiled, this was too easy.

Meanwhile Shadewing had finally tied up Harley, "Hey you can't do this!!!" She shrieked. "I wanna lawyer! I wanna doctor! I wanna cheese sandwich!" If she was going to continue her rants it was never known, a very battered Shadewing shoved her rubber chicken in her mouth.

With both the Joker and Harley Quinn out of commission BatWolf turned to see where Kattwoman had gone. All he saw was Batgirl pulling herself out of the fountain and Robin has a sappy look on his face. "Robin! Where is Kattwoman?"

"I'm not sore if he's able to talk yet, Kattwoman planted one on him to distract him. It obviously worked." Grumbled Batgirl.

"Then Kattwoman got away with the Eye of Neptune Emeralds!!" Gasped Shadewing.

Robin sobered "Holy Katcastrophy BatWolf." He muttered.

"Not quite." Smiled Batgirl. She pulled a small bag from under her cape. "I was able to get the emeralds off of her when she threw me into the drink."

"Excellent!" Answered BatWolf. "Now to call Commissioner Gray and our work here is done."

An Hour Later Commissioner Gray gratefully loaded Harley Quinn and the Joker for transport back to Arkham as well as retrieved the Eye of Neptune Emeralds for the Gem Mart. "Thank You again BatWolf!" Sighed Commissioner Gray, "I only wish we could take Falcon in as well."

"With the word of two certified nut cases, we can't get the charges to stick on him." Muttered Robin.

"Especially since we pulled the goods off of Kattwoman instead of him, he's innocent under the law. Dang it!" Replied Shadewing.

"Do not worry, he will slip up some day and then justice will be done!" Stated BatWolf. "But for now our work is done, come my friends!"

With those words the Defenders of Gotham vanished into the night.

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