Part 1

You know, sometimes I have to regret becoming a Guardian. I mean, hell I can’t even get a decent vacation anymore. I mean, I head to the D&D system then to the city of Greyhawk for a little R&R after I had healed up. And wouldn’t you know it, I landed right in the middle of a bloody cult up rising. So now I was in the middle of the River Quarter of the city, right in front of the temple of Trithareon, helping the members of the temple dive off the attackers. Of course, so that I fit in, I had shifted into a Priest of Trithareon.

Ethan: >=|!!! FUCKING CULT BASTARD!! YOU RUINED MY VACATION!!

Cultist: >=|!! FOR THE FALCON!!

*CRACK*

Ethan: e_e…You were saying?

Cultist: x_x…My nuts…

Ethan: ^_^! Awww…lemme help you with that!! >=|!!!

*CRACK*

Cultist: x_x…*dies*

Ethan: >=|!! Who else want’s some!!

*CRACK-BOOOOOOM*

Ethan: *goes flying into a wall* x_x…Ow…

Wizard: ^_^! He he he!!! Stupid follower of Trithareon!!

Ethan: >_< !!!! e_e….Time to die…*casts a spell*

A circle of swords, axes and other such bladed weapons appeared in mid air. Being a cruel but effective bastard that I am, I dropped the thing right in the middle of the group, making sure I didn’t tag any of the guys on my side. Well, I can assume all you readers out there can guess what happened. BLENDER TIME!!!!

*SHRED* *TRIP* *TEAR* *REND*

A series of incredibly painful screams ripped through the air as most of the cultists were reduced to a bloody pile of meat and robes.

Ethan: o_o…Ok…perhaps that was just a little bit over kill.

High Priestess of Trithareon: e_e…I don’t think so…take a look…

Hundreds of cultists were rushing us again, but this time they were not my main concern. What was my main concern was the odd shadowy figure that obviously DID NOT belong here.

Ethan: >=|!! Time to fetch…

I tore off through the cultists, pretty much smashing them aside as I moved towards the figure. He was wearing a dark hood that pretty much obscured his face, but the eyes….glowing red eyes that had focused right on me. I shuddered as a feeling of dread tried to over power me. I shook it off and made for him again. The figure laughed and darted down a side alley. I tore after him, rounded the corner, and ran down the alley to find….

A dead end.

Ethan: O____O…Awww….this is gonna hurt….

*CRACK*

Ethan: @_@!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!

*WHAM* *BOUNCE* *ROLL*

Ethan: ….That….fucking….hurt…

???: It appears that the little Guardian has lost his way….^_^! What a shame…>=D! So much for your vacation!!

Ethan: *staggers to his feet* >_O! Who the hell are you?

The figure removed his hood, and I was almost blown off my feet. I was staring down a creeped out, almost insane looking clown…person…thing….He had a big ass grin on his face and he was looking at me the same way like a big cat would eye a steak.

Ethan: O_O….Son of a….who the hell are you?

Scarlet Jester: >=)! Me? I am the Scarlet Jester.

What happened next was so fast that even as I tried to reconstruct it later, nothing really made a lot of sense. A haste spell was involved in there somehow, but the next thing I realized I was laying on the ground, torn up and with the Scarlet Jester standing over me.

Scarlet Jester: Hmmmphhh…you really are a little lost Guardian. e_e…I think it was dumb luck that you managed to defeat my plot to get Spiderman killed.

Ethan: e_e…Dumb luck? I think not ass hole. >=|!! STUN!!!

Power Word Stun, one of the better spells out there. A nice way to paralyze your opponent immediately, but Scarlet Jester was apparently completely immune to the effects.

Scarlet Jester: e_e…Well…you have guts at least….however, now you die….

He began to power up a large black ball of energy, and it became painfully obvious that he was creating a Sphere of Annihilation out of nothing. Well there was an easy way to avoid this I activated my Jaunt system.

Scarlet Jester: >=D!! Where do you think YOU’RE going!!

While he created the sphere in one hand, he cast a spell with his free hand. A yellow bolt nailed me in the chest and all of a sudden I was anchored to this plane. I wasn’t going anyplace.

Scarlet Jester: >=D! TIME TO DIE!!!

He threw the sphere at me. I was fumbling around for something, anything that might save my ass. My hand clasped around the holy symbol of Trithareon.

Ethan: O_O!!!! HELP ME!! I swear that if you get me out of this, I’ll never follow another god as long as I live!!

The sphere was right in front of me and then there was a bright flash. I closed my eyes waiting for the instant disintegration. And then….nothing….no blinding pain as I was reduced to nothing. I opened my eyes.

A young man, he looked about 23, with short black hair and a strange glow was holding the Sphere in his hand…HOLDING it…and I only knew one kind of creature that could do that….and that was the divine variety.

Ethan: Trithareon? O_O!?

Man: ^_^ ! *nods* e_e….*Crushes the sphere in one hand.* Leave.

Scarlet Jester: O_O;;;….*JAUNTS*

Ethan: o_o;;;….Well…that’s one way to get a follower…

Trithareon: ^_^ ! *laughs* Well, I have to be getting off the Prime Material before my fellow deities get pissed at me…oh! And say hi to Gygax for me ok?

Ethan: o_o…Yeah…sure…ok…

With that he vanished.

Ethan: >_< ! I’m going home to think bout this….

*BRING* *BRING*

Ethan: ….Son of a….*answer it* e_e…Hello?

EDG: e_e…Geekboy…get your ass back to HQ…NOW!!

Ethan: >_< ! Why me…. *jaunts*

*Back at GG HQ*

It was no surprise that once I arrived, EDG was waiting for me. He was glaring at me with his single red eye, and for some reason was looking more agitated than normal.

EDG: >=|!!! What the hell kept you!?! Were you having a conference with a god or some kind of shit like that?

Ethan: Actually…yes I was….

EDG: o_o….e_e…Just come with me geekboy…

Ethan: Where are we going?

EDG: e_e…One of the worst places we could possibly be sent too.

Ethan: O_O!! What?! Deadlands? World of Darkness? Paranoia?!

EDG: e_e…Worse….Literary Guardian Headquarters….

*Ominous lighting strike and thunder crash. ^_^*

Ethan: …o_O? What the fuck was that….

EDG: ….Damned if I know…

Part 2

Literary Guardian Headquarters was a large gothic style building that was set in the middle of a large lake. Inside the finest Guardian’s of the written word, it was their singular job to make sure that everything from the great novels of human kind, down to the singular pieces of fan fiction were protected from those who would like to make…creative changes….

The second most powerful Guardian organization, they got a larger chunk of the UN budget than we GG’s got, so in general they got better equipment, better training and a lot more fun toys. But on the plus side, they didn’t get the salvage rights that we did.

An impossibly large drawbridge gave the general public access to the massive libraries that were stored in the structure. However, EDG and I, having official business here, took the back entrance, which dropped us right in front of a receptionist desk. As we walked EDG filled me in with the details. Apparently another rogue Game Master had decided to start stealing characters from the Chaos Realm and started dumping them all over the damn place. What was worse was the fact that this lunatic had dumped Cannon Chastity in the Shadowrun System. Now this in of it self wasn’t too bad. But what was bad was the fact that this rogue Gaming Guardian had gained the power to alter Cannon creations. Which didn’t bode well for anyone. Creating a shift in cannon creations can cause all sorts of chain reactions that you don’t even want to think about. If this psycho got into a major system say like…Marvel or DC…All I got to say is…fuck. I was going to be working with a LG on this mission, mainly because the Chaos System falls squarely under their jurisdiction. And lemme tell ya, I think I’d rather face Jann in another cage match then work with a LG.

The political rivalries between the three Guardian branches were almost impossibly large. Not only were we constantly maneuvering against each other to try and garner more of the UN’s precious funds, our right sabotage, espionage and a few times all out war has raged. The last time things had become that all out desperate the MG’s had framed both the GG’s and the LG’s as those responsible. That little fact still left a great deal of wounded pride and a desire to crack some skulls in reprisal.

Anyway, the receptionist at the back door pointed us towards the office of one of the LG’s higher ups. Apparently he went only by the name of winter. He was the superior of the LG that I was to be working with…supposedly went by the name of ShadowWing. When we got there Winter was sitting at his desk, working on some paper work. He looked up when we entered. I couldn’t help but notice the ice-cold glare that EDG and Winter exchanged.

Winter: e_e…Ahhh…EDG…I see you’ve brought your operative….

EDG: >=|! Damn straight I have.

Winter: e_e…Is he capable?

EDG: >=|!!! Just as capable as yer precious ShadowWing…where the hell is she anyway? Shouldn’t she be here by now?

Winter: e_e…She’s on a mission and will be along shortly.

EDG: >=|!! That means nothing!! "Shortly" could be a couple of hours!! Get her ass on a channel!!

If looks could kill, the glare that Winter shot at EDG would have reduced him to a pile of metal slag on the floor. But, nonetheless he hit a button on a desk intercom and tried to bring up this Shadow Wing.

Winter: Guardian ShadowWing! Where the hell are you!?!

Nothing.

EDG: >=)!! Looks like your "capable guardian" is late Snowflake!

Winter: e_e!!! She’s on a mission in the Kingdom Come system at the moment. Some crazy cross over writer pulled a self-insert.

Ethan: O_o? Oh?

Winter: ~_~…The author inserted herself into the continuity as Sailor Moon, and she brought the whole Scout team with her.

Ethan: o_o…That is wrong on SO many levels….

EDG: e_e…Just try her again…

Winter: >=|!! If you don’t answer this hail soon I’m gonna….

Whatever he was gonna due I never got to find out, as our wayward ShadowWing chose that moment to appear….in the middle of the air.

*BWOOSH*

Winter: O_O!!!!

*CRASH*

I have to say; my first view of ShadowWing was somewhat…impressive. Long brown hair that came midway down her back, silver superhero style armor, and great metallic wings, made up her outfit. Add to the fact she was smoking slightly and you had to wonder what hell she had managed to Jaunt her ass out of.

ShadowWing: @_@...Ow…

Winter: I would chew your ass out SW…but saying that you just crash landed in my office, still in character mode and smoking in some places, I’ll assume that you had little choice in the matter.

SW: Thanks sir… @_@…I think…

Winter: e_e…The mission?

SW: @_@...A success…

She managed to get back to her feet, and at this point the wings on her armor almost had the entire room filled up, and the sharp point on one of those was very close to jabbing me in the nose. However, she shifted back to normal, giving everyone in the room much more room to move around. Her normal form was a 5ft 3in, 120 pound chick with brown hair. Oddly enough she was wearing all black with the exception of red driving gloves. I decided it was better not to ask.

SW: Ahhh…that’s better. So, what’s up boss?

Winter: *shakes head* Well we seem to have a problem with a Realm that you are an expert in, and some guests that require knowledge of that Realm.

SW: -_-…Who’s messing around in the Chaos Realm?

Winter sighed and gestured to EDG and myself who apparently she hadn’t noticed yet.

Winter: SW…this is Ethan Rice and EDG from the Gaming Guardians, it seems that someone or something is hijacking Chaos Realm characters and dumping them in all sorts of other systems.

Winter essentially took this opportunity to bring SW up to speed. She seemed to take things rather well all things considered. And everything seemed to be going well up until she said something that really got my dander up.

SW: No problem, get the data on this yahoo together I’ll be ready to track him in a few hours. I need some rest before I dive into this mission… *rubs temples*

Now you see I ended up kinda spazzing out over this comment. The fact of the matter is, that the bastard warped Cannon Chastity before. Now, she had been caught and restored to normal by the LG’s before the change could spread. But if this guy did it again while SW was "resting"….

Ethan: >=|!! HELLO? He could have alerted half the Chaos Characters in that time!! We have to get started now if we’re gonna stop him in time!

SW: Look Ethan…the Chaos Realm is a place where angels and guardians fear to tread. I’ve been up for at least 24 hours, been clobbered by Sailor Scouts of all things and nearly reduced to ash by a nuclear bomb before crash landing here! I’m not insane enough to jump right to the Chaos Realm now; I’d get careless and wind up dead. So if you and your robo-buddy here want my help you’ll park your ass for a few hours while I take a well earned 40-winks and get geared up. Got that?

Well that tore it. No one is gonna tell me to park my ass when members of my family were in danger. Before Winter or EDG knew what was happening, I had shifted to Street Sam mode. She responded by going back into her big armored form from before.

Ethan: >=|!!! Sorry bitch!! My sister is the one who’s gonna pay because yer screwin around!!! COME ON!!

SW: e_e…Oh really? *hands begin to glow with Telekinesis energy.*

Things could have turned VERY ugly at that point, but fortunately for everyone involved. EDG and Winter had managed to get it together enough to stop us from doing anything totally insane. EDG grabbed my by the arm and dragged me out of the room faster than I would have expected. Meanwhile Winter tackled SW.

EDG: >=|!! Calm down Ethan!!

Winter: >=|!! Stand down ShadowWing!!

When EDG dragged me out into the hall, he slammed me against a wall and I ended up dropping out of form by pure shock.

EDG: >=|!!! That was inexcusable Rice!! I know you’re protective of your family but getting into a brawl with the person you’ll be WORKING with on the mission is probably one of the dumbest things you’ve ever done!

Ethan: But…

EDG: >=|!! BUT NOTHING!! Yer lucky I don’t see yer ass suspended for that little stunt! Now, you’re gonna park your carcass until ShadowWing is ready! And I better not hear about another incident like this or there WILL be hell to pay!! Do you follow me!?

Ethan: ~_~…Yeah….

At this point I decided to head down to the jump pads and just wait. Much later SW showed up.

SW: What? No EDG and Winter?

Ethan: They haven’t shown up yet, they are talking about something.

SW: Most likely about the less that stellar behavior we showed a few hours ago, look I didn’t know that your sister was involved in this. I’m sorry if I sounded a little curt back there. But this Realm is a trick to survive in under the best of conditions; I want us both back here in once piece.

Ethan: Hey where my sister is concerned, I get kinda of protective; I think you’d act the same way if it was a member of your family that had a risk of becoming a homicidal monster.

SW: No arguments there *holds out her hand* Truce?

Ethan: *takes her hand and gives it a shake* Truce.

SW: Great…now the best place in the Chaos Realms to land is in the middle of an undead controlled waste land, so I know you can shift, I hope you have a vampire character stored, because where we are going…if you have a pulse you are zombie chow.

Ethan: Don’t worry; with a vampire for a sister you better believe that I have a vampire character. Very useful at times.

We both shifted, and ended up sporting skin shades just a little bit lighter than usual and bodies that were sans pulse.

SW: Okay we better get going…you got the spot to Jaunt to?

Ethan: Got it.

SW: Let’s go then…

Part 3

*BWOOSH*

Ethan: >_<!! I don’t think I’ll ever get used to Jaunting…

I took a look around and saw a scene of devastation that was right out of any given post apocalyptic hell holes you could have chosen. It was so bad I wasn’t even able to tell what city we were standing in right away, though I was able to peg it as NYC when I spotted what was left of the Statue of Liberty out in the water.

SW: Welcome to NYC post EE…

Ethan: O_O…and I thought 9/11 was bad…

SW: The army fought Evil Ernie here...the satellite they used to control the machines sent to destroy him malfunctioned and crashed here...Most of the skyscrapers are history.

Damn…if that was the kind of stuff that was going on here, I couldn’t help but wonder what kinda dreck was springing up across the rest of the globe at the moment.

Ethan: Tell me...what's the situation in the rest of the world...I mean...we know USA is messed... But what about all the other countries out there...are they experiencing their own Chaos related problems?

SW: There has been an increase of supernatural madness across the globe, Purgatori is attempting to gain control or destroy various vampire clans. Lady Death and Lucifer are squaring off in Las Vegas, every creature with an ounce of power is scrambling for power...we are maybe a month or so from the Rapture and the Judgement War. Then Armaggadon.

Ethan: e_e...ahhh yes...the time-honored tradition of nuking a world if the writers have screwed it up too much.

SW: e_e…Actually no... The end of this world has been in the planning since it’s creation over the past five years. Everything that has occurred here has been leading up to this. Its not that screwed up...now take Marvel...that's a Realm that needs to be nuked

Ethan: No arguments...but WHY! I just don't see WHY...then again I may just be an old preservationist at heart...

SW: It's really not an end...it's a beginning...the theory of Chaos is this. Nothing really dies, it finishes it's phase and changes it's an endless cycle, this world isn't dying...it's evolving into something new. At least that's how the theory goes.

Ethan: Interesting...*shakes head* Let's just get going, I could go on about how I disagree with that for years...

SW: True...now can you trace that Rogue's Jaunt System?

Ethan: Give me a second.

One interesting fact about us Gaming Guardians is that our Conversion Matrixes have tracking devices and sensor systems built into them as part of the basic construction. Some people may ask why. The general answer is that we GG’s are a rather tight nit group, and if one of us has happened to get ourselves into some deep shit, it is rather helpful to be able to know where your allies are in the same system. So I simply closed my eyes and let the tracking device show me where my target was. Almost at once I got a positive hit from right here in NYC, and I was about to tell SW about it when something else caught my attention. There was a very strange energy signal radiating from downtown London at the moment, one that my Con Matrix was struggling to identify. But that wasn’t what was the worst part my Con Matrix was practically screaming at me that there was a Chastity in London at the moment. I had the sensor scan pull back so that I could get a clearer view of all Europe, and it registered that there was ANOTHER Chastity in Paris! As far as I was concerned this all added up to a whole lot of crap that would make this job all the worse.

Ethan: ~_~ Ethan: I register him in NYC its self...but I'm getting an odd signal somewhere in London...

SW: That's odd... No major Chaos players are in London at this time...though Chastity is in Paris.

Ethan: ...There’s another signal that registers as Chaz in London...and I'm getting another Chaz in Paris...

SW: SHIT...he's snagged a non-canon Chastity and brought her here? Damn whomever this guy is playing with fire. Okay so what do we do? Take care of the GG or head to London and figure out what is going on?

Ethan: I'd say London...this unidentified signal has me spooked.

SW: Let's hope we don't regret this...*taps into her Jump System* Ready?

Ethan: Ready…

*BWOOSH*

And a split second later we were in the White Chapel District of jolly old London. SW was keeping an eye out while I was trying to get a fix on that signal again. It wasn’t that far off…just down an alleyway. We headed down the alley, acting as calm and collected as humanly possible considering the circumstances.

SW: Where's that signal you are picking up on now?

I pointed at dark doorway.

Ethan: Right over there...

And wouldn’t you know it! As soon as I said that, a very familiar figure emerged from the darkness.

UCTF Chaz: ^_^! Hiya bro!

Ethan: O_O!!! ^_^!! Chaz! *hugs*

Ok, now before anyone says anything. Yes I admit that I wasn’t being all that smart about this. Odds are that if my sister was HERE that she wasn’t entirely herself if you catch my drift. But then again I guess you never want to admit that someone you love has been turned into a homicidal killing machine.

Ethan: ^_^! What are you doing here?

UCTF Chaz: ^_^! You run off on vacation for a while, then get shunted off for a mission without keeping in touch? I have to keep tabs on you sometimes little bro. *ruffles Ethan’s hair* Though it looks like your getting yourself in trouble again!

Ethan: Yeah…well…it’s my job…

SW: e_e…So your Ethan’s big sister? Why are you again?

UCTF Chaz: ^_^! Just stopping by for a bite! >=)!! HISSSSSSS!!!

Ethan: O_O!!!!!

SW: O_O!! SHIT!!!

*CHOMP*

Before I could really figure out what was going on, sis had gone into full feeding mode and sunk her fangs deep into my neck. As you can guess, I was mostly in shock at this point, so I wasn’t really gonna be struggling against my sister’s attack. Thank god that SW was on the ball enough to TK Chaz away from me. I stumbled back, still in shock somewhat, holding a hand to my neck wound.

Ethan: o_o…She bit me…

SW: Calm down Ethan! Shift to vamp mode so that her bite doesn’t take care of that for you, and get behind me! *keeps her eyes on Chaz* Care to tell me why you bit your brother?

I shifted just in time to hear her response, and see who was responsible for this.

Chaz: ^_^!! To make him part of the fold of course!

SW: e_e…What fold?

And wouldn’t you know it! My friend from the alley back in Greyhawk stepped out from the same dark doorway. This time he was san body obscuring cloak and just had a black and tattered cape. All his clothing was blood red and he had a red and black jester’s cap. His skin was pasty white and he was flashing a grin normally all see on the criminally insane. He placed a pasty hand on sis’s shoulder.

Scarlet Jester: >=)! My fold of course.

SW: e_e….Ethan, you know this Joker rip off?

Needless to say, the appearance of this ass hole was enough to snap me out of my shock.

Ethan: >=|!!!! YOU!! YOU SORRY MOTHER FUCKER!! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY SISTER!?

SW: I’ll take that as a yes…

Scarlet Jester: My my…such language…

Ethan: >=|!!! Care to explain why you’re here SJ? Yer supposed to be a GG headache.

Scarlet Jester: To get some new recruits…With the power of Chaos Comics behind whatever world I want to my will!

SW: *cracks her knuckles* Tell me…uh…SJ…are you fire proof?

SJ: >=)! Foolish little girl…

SW: >=)!! I’ll take that as a no!

SW choose this moment to shift into a more battle ready form. It looked like a typical Chaos Comic female, killer body, minimal outfit, armor on the chest, elbow length gloves, loin cloth, all in a color scheme of black and orange. Still a brunette, but the hair is about three times as long and pulled into a high pony tail and her eyes were glowing like orange coals. And she was holding a classic big ass flaming sword. Of course she did forget one…slight detail…

Ethan: O_O!!!! H_H!!!!!!!!!!

I WAS a gamer after all.

Scarlet Jester: e_e…Nice team mate choice ShadowWing…

SW: e_e…Eyeballs back in the head Gamer Boy…and how did you know my name…

Scarlet Jester: >=)!!

She formed a huge fireball in her hand and whipped it at SJ, who just crushed it out of existence.

Scarlet Jester: e_e…Spare me!!

He created a blob of black energy in his free hand and dropped it right on our heads. A seriously empowered Unholy Blight ripped into us, and most of the surrounding area. Ahhh….how I hate that spell….it only damages good aligned people considering that it’s pure unholy energy. As the spell faded, both Scarlet Jester and Chaz were beginning to head towards us…

Part 4

I moaned, pulling myself back to my feet, desperately trying to gain my footing again before SJ and my brainwashed sister managed to reach us. SW also managed to get back up, and not a moment too soon. The Scarlet Jester, who apparently didn’t like me for some reason (I wonder why) swooped in, drawing a BIG ASS SCYTHE as he went. Said big ass scythe went up under my rib cage, caught there, and then was used as leverage to hurl me back DOWN the alley so where he started from in the first place.

Ethan: @_@...Ow…

Scarlet Jester: >=D!!! HA HA HA!!! e_e….Unholy blight!!!

Ethan: @_@!!! $^&#^&*^#*^&@!!!!

Once again I found myself at ground zero of a blast of negative energy. How damn annoying can you be? Well, SW wasn’t about to take this stuff lying down, so she created a big ass fire ball and chucked it right at SJ’s over large, Joker wanna be’s, head. Of course I became rather panicky when SJ caught the fireball and crushed it out of existence.

SW: O_O…e_e…Well shit…time to pull out the big guns then…

Well, at this point we had both become so wrapped up in what the Scarlet Jester was doing that we had both forgotten about my sister….

Chaz: >=D!! HISSSSSSSSSSSSS!! *CHOMP*

Ethan: AHHHH!!! >_< !!

She had snuck around behind me and was giving me another chomp. Fortunately, since I was already a vampire this time, it wasn’t going to turn me or anything. However a vampire bite was still nothing to sneeze at, even for other vampires. So I flipped her off of me, and extended my claws. However, SW was one step ahead of me and conjured up a firewall to keep her from going anywhere. That worked for me, cause I was going to go rip SJ a new one.

Ethan: >=|!!! *shifts*

Can everyone say, Dragon? You can? Very good! Cause I shifted to a smaller one, (anything larger would have been unable to fit into the firkin alley) and swung at the SOB. The claw knocked him into the path of SW who made another firewall which she combined with a TK blast. Said attack put SJ through a wall. While he was stunned for a few seconds SW checked on Chaz….who had somehow managed to get OUT of the damn fire circle!

*SLICE*

Ethan: x_X!! ROAR!!

Time to emergency shift back to normal, which I did in a hurry. I had to because my firkin arm was sliced off by one of my sister’s katanas! I have ta remember to talk to her about this later.

UCTF Chaz: >=|!! Join me brother!! I don’t want to have to destroy you!

SW: Damn it girl…STAY OUT OF THIS!!

She tossed up another firewall, and this one surrounded Chaz completely, in other words she wasn’t getting out of this one.

SW: If that don’t keep her in one place I don’t know what will…

She turned to face SJ again.

SW: Now where were we?

Scarlet Jester removed himself from the wall, very calmly dusted himself off, and spun his scythe calmly, then pointed it us. What happened next was firkin insane. The firewall dropped, and SW and myself were slammed into a far wall. I struggled against the force, and wasn’t able to get that far at all.

SW: x_X…Shit squared…

Ethan: >=|!! SON OF A BITCH!!!

SW: What the hell do you want asshole!! >=|!!!!!!!

We certainly got the answer to that question in a hurry. Before we really knew what was happening SJ was in front of SW and he had a pair of…well…they looked almost like the Thermal Detonators from the Star Wars Movies, but they had enough obvious differences that I was able to tell they did something else…

SJ: >=D! Just these thank you!

SW: O_O!!! You have no idea what you are playing with there…

SJ: Oh! But indeed I do! The power to split a world...>=)! Or KILL a whole bunch of people!

SW: Including yourself!

SJ: >=)! Maybe a mortal such as yourself! But not the Scarlet Jester!

SW: Those things attack anything non-canon...you’re as non-canon as it gets!

SJ: You miss understand. >=|!! I AM MORE POWERFUL THAN THEM!

SW: You really think I'm gonna let you test that theory? Fat Chance!

She tried to TK the things out of SJ’s hands only to see them get snatched right back into SJ’s hands with his own TK’s abilities, she tried again and was rewarded with a black bolt to her chest. This caused SJ to drop his TK field for a moment. With the pressure keeping me against the wall down, I tried to attack the Jester…and received a black bolt myself, which sent me right into SW. And then everything began to go black.

* * *

*POKE*

???: Wake up!

Ethan: @_@....*moans*

SW: e_e!!! *POKE again* Wake UP!!!

Ethan: O_O!!!! *wakes up* @_@...I feel like I was hit by a truck…

SW: One called Scarlet Jester…we gotta find him before he jumps somewhere else…fast…

Ethan: I don't think he's ready to leave system yet...he only has UCTF Chaz under his control at the moment...EE, Lady Death, and Jade are still free I believe

SW: He's got something worse than all of them combined...*gets to her feet*

Ethan: e_e...What the hell were those things?

SW: *winces* Oh well it had to happen someday...those are Splitter Bombs...a last ditch resort for sticky missions.

Ethan: e_e...You got some explaining to do LG…

SW was looking VERY uncomfortable at this point.

SW: We use them to separate an author’s creation from cannon…they can be rather dangerous…

Ethan: >=|!!! Care to explain WHY this wasn't reported to the UN? Or WHY the other Guardian agencies weren't informed!?

SW: You want the official reason...or the real reason...

Ethan: >=|! Humor me and give me both

SW: Official reason...no other agency really has the need to split off non-canon creations from canon realms. Unofficial reason we are trying to make the suckers less dangerous before we let anybody else know about them...

Ethan: >=|!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Needless to say I gave her both barrels…hell I gave her the entire damn clip. She had to have learned about fifty new curses in that tirade.

SW: It get’s worse…

Ethan: >=|!! HOW?

SW: If you don't know how to use them...you can kill everything in a world that is non canon...so if SJ sets one off here, you, I, your sister, the Rogue GG...and anything else non-canon here is dead.

Ethan: Except for SJ...he seemed to imply that he's stronger than your splitter bombs

SW: Who knows if he is...he may survive the blast...but the goal of a Splitter is to divide one realm into two realms...so even if SJ survives the blast he'll get yanked to a new realm...who knows where he and whatever he creates will wind up >_<

Ethan: >_< !! I HATE Scarlet Jester! Malcontent I can handle! Momento Mori I can handle! Even Radu Radu I can handle!! But Scarlet Jester...

SW: O_o?

Ethan: e_e...Other...super villains if you wanna call them that, that the GG's have crossed paths with before...

SW: Ah...so care to track down where that SOB took your sister?

Ethan: I'm working on it… She’s is with the Rogue Guardian back in NYC...SJ appears to be searching the rest of the Eastern USA for something.

SW: I've got to make a call to HQ...if SJ has those bombs I gotta report it...and something better be done before we go after them...

Ethan: >_< …Fine…

Part 5

After our little fiasco with SJ, we decided that it would be better to leave the immediate area before any authorities showed up to "discuss" the amount of collateral noise and damage we had created. Though as we retreated from the area I couldn’t help but wonder, what the hell else was SW and her LG cronies hiding? If they had something like these "Splitters" stored away I didn’t want to think of what else they might have locked away in their HQ.

Ethan: e_e…

SW: o_O? What?

Ethan: e_e…Nothing…

And people wondered why the three Guardian organizations were almost always at each other’s throat. If it wasn’t the Media Guardian’s robbing systems blind and generally being as corrupt as possible, it was the Literary Guardians and all their damned secrecy and deadly toys. I swore right then and there that I would NEVER work cross department again! After traveling for a little bit, we reached a small dark pup, which was a perfect place to regroup before heading out again. We ended up taking a seat in one of the dark corners of the place. SW pulled out a small communicator and dialed up her home base…however she didn’t seem to happy about the voice that answered the call.

SW: e_e…Oh joy…I HAD to get Jack!

Jack: ^_^! Are you using my name in vain again? Aww! I didn’t know you cared!

SW: Yeah I’m trash talking you! I need a scanner…fast…

Jack: o_o…Why the hell would you need one of those? Is something wrong?

SW: Just send it!!! e_e!! And don’t come here yourself!

Jack: O_o…Oookay…one of those missions…I’m sending it to you now…

There was a slight shimmering of the air before us and a small device just appeared.

SW: e_e…Thank you! *hangs up* I hate that guy…

I was just staring at the device. It looked kinda like a scanner from Star Trek, but after learning about the Splitter Bombs, I was looking at anything SW brought along with her as a potentially lethal weapon.

Ethan: What is that thing?

SW: Well we happen to be crazy...not stupid. We knew that the Splitters can be harmful...so we developed a treatment for it...since they uh...rip you to small pieces from the inside out...you literally have to be recreated from the atom up...but you need a picture to the puzzle.

Ethan: O_O…Ahhhh…

These people WERE insane.

SW: My scan is back on file at HQ…however, yours is not…

Ethan: Recreate our bodies? O_o...What bout or minds and memories! You can't store those on a computer!

SW: *rolls her eyes* Okay lemme put it this way...think of it as radiation poisoning...it's a slow process...if you can get away from ground zero in time...you can be treated. If not you are screwed.

Ethan: >=|! I swear I should have your entire organization locked up for messing around with this stuff!

SW: e_e As if we had a choice! You think GM's are bad...you have not cringed till you have seen an author running amuck! Or did you WANT me to leave Sailor Moon in Middle Earth! The only way we could get that one out of the CLASSIC LOTR was a splitter!

Ethan: O_______________________O……..

Ok, now THAT would have been bad. Since D&D and most other fantasy RPG’s are based of the classic Lord of the Rings books, doing something like sticking the Sailor Scouts in them would have thrown the continuity off in ways I don’t even want to think about. Not to mention the whole concept was borderline sacrilege for us gamers.

Ethan: -_-...ok...good point. Just scan me and get it over with.

SW: Hopefully this won't be needed...but I prefer to err on the side of caution...especially in THIS realm. *taps a few buttons* There done... Okay Ethan...are you ready to go?

Ethan: Ready

SW: All Right...be sure to shift to vamp mode when we land...unless you want to be a zombie beacon *gets ready to jump*

Ethan: >_<...Damn Evil

SW: Have a little respect...your sister used to have a serious thing for him...

Ethan: e_e...He's trying to kill everyone on earth.

SW: Yeah he wants to bring his true love...Lady Death to Earth ^_^

Ethan: e_e And that justifies turning everyone into zombies?

SW: Forget about it...it'll take WAY to long to explain the deeper reason behind MegaDeath, it involves the Grim Reaper, Lucifer and God...~_~

Ethan: ...ok...I'll take your word on that.

We cut the debate short and jaunted again, landing back in NYC. Things…petty much looked the same…let’s face it. This city was no longer the bustling city it used to be. Hell, it was worse than the damn Shattergraves in the Shadowrun system. I immediately began to scan for our targets again, and in a few I had located them.

Ethan: e_e…Got them.

SW: Good! Where are they?

Ethan: About 3 clicks south of here.

SW: e_e…Let’s go then!

Ethan: e_e…Agreed.

TBC….

Part 6

((OOC: When we last left off, Ethan and SW were heading to go settle a score with the Joker-rip-off and his Rouge Guardian pal. Now we rejoin with the pain in the middle of the NYC ruins.))

There should be a law about villains setting up shop in ruins like this. The over used and somewhat aggravating tradition of the big bad guy setting up his base in the middle of god knows where simply to where out and aggravate the heroes who ultimately end up draining themselves fighting the lowly and brainless denizens of the surrounding wastelands. Just one time I’d like to see the bad guy waiting for his attackers in a well maintained industrial park or something.

Ahhhh, but enough of my ranting. For we have just arrived outside one of the few remaining skyscrapers in the whole city, and my sensors are practically screaming "THEY’RE IN THERE!!!" After a quick discussion, SW and I both decided to throw secrecy out the window at the moment, and just barge in the damn front door. SW shifted to her tried and true Lady Hellfire mode. (H_H!!!) And I decided to take a more…interesting route…

Ethan: >=|!! *shifts*

I choise what had to be the second most deadly form I had stored in the Conversion Matrix. The Ringwraith. The most powerful of all of Sauron’s servants straight outta the Lord of the Rings books. Fast, dangerous, and almost impossible to kill outright, which makes them a nice combat form to use when the shit hits the fan. As ready as we could be, SW and I busted right through the front door and set about reeking havoc the best ways we knew how.

SW: *blasts away the front door with a fireball* A firkin Ringwraith? O_O…Oh well why not…

Ethan: >=|!!! Open up in the name of Mordor!!!! O_O…^^;;;…Got a bit too much into character there…

SW: e_e…Ya think?

We charged in! Ready for anything…except the lack of foes. And considering the amount of chaos we raised at the front door you think someone would have heard us by now.

SW: >=|!! Come on!! Where are they?

Ever hear the moral of ask a stupid question get a stupid answer? Well we got our stupid answer in the form of my sister going berserk on my rear with her patented Reaper Kick.

*BLOAW*

Ethan: @_@!!!

UCTF Chaz: >=)!! Avon calling!

SW conjured up a wall of flame to prevent Chaz from getting too close to her.

SW: Come on Ethan! I know that body is tougher than that!

She was right you know. I quickly got back to my feet and came at my sis, sweeping low at her legs with my blade. This forced her to jump over my blow…

SW: e_e…Ok honey, where’s Joker-Wanna-Be hiding?

UCTF Chaz: ^_^! You’ll find out once you join us!!

SW: e_e…Like Hell…or should I say…HELLFIRE!!

SW dropped a nice cluster of white-hot fire right where sis was planning to land, this caused her to change her landing point in mid air and threw her slightly off balance. This allowed SW to tackle her into the wall.

SW: Do yourself a favor honey, don’t fight me and don’t even think of bighting me!

Chaz: >_< !! >=|!! HISSSSS!!!

Well, she didn’t seem intent in taking that piece of advice. Considering that she drew one of her Katana’s and placed a nice slash in SW’s shoulder. SW responded by GRABBING the blade in her hand and melting the thing into slag.

SW: ARGH! >=|! Oh you are gonna get it lady! Now be a good little char and hold still so I can jump your ass out of here!

*KRACK* *ZAAAP*

Well, well well, if it’s not our Rogue Guardian friend. Apparently he wasn’t expecting us to still be standing judging by the look on his face. However his hand was smoking from the blast he chucked at SW so he was still on top of things.

SW: Oof! >_< That hurt! He's all yours Ethan! *turns back to Chaz* As for you honey...time for you to go home for a nap! >=)! *hits her com link...* I got the tracer on her! Grab her quick and she'll be a bitch when she lands!!

UCTF Chaz: O_O!!! *POOF*

Thank god she’s outta here, now I can concentrate on the Rouge Guardian. Swinging my blade above my head, I prepared to drive the damn thing right down his firkin throat.

Rouge Guardian: >=D!! Oh dear me! It’s a Ringwraith! Oh whatever shall I do…just maybe…e_e…THIS!!! *brandishes a pack of cards*

He snapped off a small black beam at me that seemed to emerge from the cards themselves. It nailed me in the chest and the next thing I knew I had un-shifted and was rolling around the floor…in intense pain…

SW: Shit! You okay!

Ethan: X_X!! >_< AAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!

SW: I'll take that as a no...

Rogue Guardian: >=D!!!

Part 7

Ethan: X_X!! ARRRRGHHHHHH!!!

The cards…whatever was in those fucking cards was wreaking havoc on me. I swear that I could almost feel my flesh warping under its influence. SW kneeled down beside me.

SW: Shit! What the hell did he hit you with!

Ethan: >_< !! I don’t…know…

SW: O_O!! Your implant!! Maybe he’s interfering with it!!

Rouge Guardian: >=D!!! Keeeeeep guessing!!

Ethan: @_@...*skin begins to darken and bat like wings begin to rip from his shoulders.&* !@&*@&*(!%^%&@!!!

SW: e_e…

The next thing the Rogue Guardian knew, SW was back on her feet and tearing ass towards him. However, by this point I was looking like a somewhat demonic version of myself. What was worse that everything seemed to be disconnected. I wasn’t in control of my body, and that was a very bad thing. Cause as anyone who’s read any kind of comic or seen any kind of movie out there. When yer not in control of your own body that USUALLY means…someone…or something else is…

Looking over, I could see that SW was hauling the Rogee Guardian up and was resisting the urge to roast the guy alive. It looked hard….resisting to roast the guy alive that is.

SW: e_e!!! Give me what you used on him or I turn you to ash asshole!!

Rogue Guardian: ^_^! I don’t think your friend would like that at all!

And then I was upon SW. A powerful arm that I really didn’t recognize as my own shot out and grabbed SW by the back of her neck, ready to snap the damn thing like a twig.

SW: O_O!! URK!! >_< !! He’ll thank me for this later…

She kicked up the temperature of her skin by a lot…and when I mean a lot, I mean to hot to handle even by demon.

Ethan: >_< !!! ROAR!! *drops SW*

SW: >_< ! Sorry Ethan! e_e….*glares back at the Rouge Guardian* Give me that weapon NOW!!!

She REALLY didn’t look happy when the asshole just held up that same pack of cards that he had used on me, saying nothing and sporting a huge grin on his face. They were black and red with the phrase "Game Overkill" on them.

SW: I'm not a gamer so you undo it...in the next thirty seconds or I roast and spit you over an open fire >=]

Rogue Guardian: >=|!!

Now HE didn’t like that one at all. He just chucked the cards in SW’s face and vanished. Meanwhile I was beginning to come around again and was preparing to rip her apart. She glanced through the cards and didn’t seem to find all that much.

SW: e_e...Great...just great... I knew I should have paid more attention to those players in the comic shop.

She scooped up another card at random, and fired the thing at me. A pale white beam struck me and the lack of control vanished. I sunk to my knees again while I sorted out my thoughts

Ethan: >_<…What the hell happened?

SW: Well, whatever he used on you seemed to interfere with your Conversion Matrix.

Ethan: Ughh…hang on for a bit SW, I’m gonna save this form into my CM’s memory banks.

A few minutes later I was back to normal again and we were heading upwards. After a while we ended up right on the roof. And found!!!....No one…

Ethan: >=|!! Damn it!! Where the hell are you! You joker wanna be?!

SJ: ^_^! Closer than you think!!!

*BLAOW*

Well THAT was fun!! I skidded across the roof, and hit one of the damn ventilation pipes that were still hanging around. The whole damn thing came down on top of me, I managed to drag myself out of the pile of metal just as SW flew over my head from an equally dangerous blow from SJ. I quickly ran back over towards SJ, shifting as I went. I promptly pulled the biggest damn gun out of my arsenal. The Ki warrior.

Now, the Ki warrior is a character straight out of the DBZ RPG. (Which I really hate for a variety of reasons, he firkin company that released the DBZ RPG already had released a game system that let you do the EXACT SAME DAMN THING if you wanted to! e_e!! But NOOO they just wanted to release that RPG to cash in on as much of the DBZ market as humanly possible!! I mean WHY the HELL did they decide to do that! Fucking greedy ass holes!! ….Ok, I’m done now.) But even with the power of the Ki Warrior I was wondering what chance I had against this guy. SJ looked and me and smiled.

SJ: >=D!! Ahhhh!! The Ki warrior!! Let me think what was it that they didn’t like? What was it that was SOOO adapted to killing them?

He began to snap his while he muttered to himself. Then he brightened up and faced me.

SW: ^_^!! NOW I remember!!! It was THIS! >=D!!

He held up a hand and created two of those firkin discs of slicing ki that EVERYONE was familiar with from DBZ. Then he threw them at me.

Part 8

How do I hate Scarlet Jester? Let me count the ways…

Well I would if not for the damn energy-slice-ya-into-curly-fries-energy-beams that seemed to be all so intent on chasing me down. And all the while that white-faced ass-hole was laughing his fucking ass off at me.

Scarlet Jester: ^_^! I really wonder how long you can keep up.

Ethan: >=|!! SHUT UP!!

*BUUUUUUZZZZ*

I ducked wildly, just as the buzz saws sliced over my head. They kept on going and crashed into another building far away. Of course the thing was promptly sliced in half. Bringing the whole thing down with one ear shattering crash. At that moment, SW came blazing past me in the other direction with THREE buzz saws on her tail. This was getting pretty damn annoying at this point.

SW: >_< !! Awwww…SHIT SQUARED!!

She spun quickly speed up and DOVE right at the Rogue Guardian. Apparently she was trying to nail the guy with his own attack, but that idea really didn’t work. Cause when she pulled away at the last second he simply cancelled out the buzz saws. Speaking of witch…

*BUUUUUZZZZZ*

Ethan: O_O!!! *JUMPS*

The Buzz saws spun by right underneath my feet, and I took off like all the demons of hell were after me. Which they might as well have been. Meanwhile the Rouge Guardian was trying to deal with SW. The Guardian powered up some small pink sphere’s of energy in each of his hands. I was expecting him to throw them at SW, but I was shocked to see tendrils erupt out of the balls and streak towards SW. She flew like hell trying to avoid them, but they snagged her around the ankles. Quick as a flash, the tendrils wrapped around her entire body.

Ethan: O_O!! SW!!!

*SLICE*

….Ow…

Ethan: O_O…o_o…-__-…*drops*

Rogue Guardian: ShadowWing! You're fate is now in your hands. Join Scarlet Jester...or suffer the consequences...

SW: e_e...uh does the phrase 'SCREW YOU AND THE HORSE YOU RODE IN ON!' Hold any meaning to you what so ever?

Rogue Guardian: e_e...So be it...

Scarlet Jester: >=D!! Then you’ll make a lovely lawn decoration

SW: Ugh!!...What the hell...

A big pink blob of energy slammed into SW and an odd tingling began in her feet and began to creep upwards. Looking down, SW saw that her flesh was beginning to get replaced with Jade!

SW: Whoo Shoot that's a new one...okay SW...think fast... Time to get to safer ground!

She locked onto Ethan with her JS system and fired it up. She appeared right next to our gamer friend, but her landing was somewhat out of whack thanks the weight of her new feet.

SW: >_< !! OWCH!! I gotta stop these frantic landings.

Of course that’s when she noticed that her partner was out cold, and had a rather large pool of blood beneath him.

SW: O_O!! *pokes Ethan* WAKE UP!!

Not moving, not breathing, and with a very large pool of blood underneath him. Let’s face it friends our Gamer friend is NOT in good condition.

SW: >_< Damn it no choice now... We need to make a pit stop....

* One Jaunt Layer….*

SW: ….*takes a deep breath*….MEDIC!!!

Soon enough there were Medical Technicians swarming all over the pair. After examining Ethan for a second, everyone recoiled in horror. The gamer’s lower half was hanging on by a thread. The buzz saw had really done a number on him. It would take some doing to keep him alive to get this job done.

Tech 1: SHIT what the hell happened?

SW: Not sure...but I have his scan looks like you'll have to do a few splitter treatments on him o_o...

After handing the shocked technicians the scans she took from Ethan, she happened to notice EDG and Winter just entering the area. And of course EDG quickly few into one of his attitudes…

EDG: >=|!! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED LG?! HUH? YOU USED HIM A SHEILD? HAD HIM TAKE A BUZZ SAW FOR YOU!? >=|!!

Having had a really bad day so far, SW simply shifted to her Psion mode and wrapped the irate robot in a TK sphere.

SW: >=|!! Two words...SCARLET JESTER!

*Speaking of which….*

Scarlet Jester: e_e…Prepare the Splitter Bombs! If all goes well, soon I will have my own world that will be the new base of my power!

Rogue Guardian: ^_^!! Yes Lord Jester!

While the RG went about his work, SJ looked out over the wrecked city of New York.

Scarlet Jester: >=)! Wait till they get a load of me!! LOL!!! LOOOOOL!!! >=D!!!!

Part 9

EDG wasn’t happy. And when EDG wasn’t happy, a lot pf people weren’t happy. This might have been because of his tendency to become bitchy as all hell, or perhaps because he loved to throw nut shots around. And for god sakes, DO NOT call him a "trash can with legs" or he’ll make Hystalin’s "Nutshot Explosion" look pitiful in comparison.

And at the moment, he had one person locked firmly in his sights. And that person was ShadowWing. Despite what she said about the Scarlet Jester, EDG didn’t trust the LG at all. And who could really blame him. He wasn’t there, and for all he knew the bitch really HAD used Ethan as a shield. So at the moment he was "cracking" his metal knuckles and looking around for a target of his wrath. When SW launched into a detailed explanation about what exactly had happened, something set off a warning light in his head.

EDG: e_e….*thinks* She’s hiding something…the stress in her voice jumped a little bit there…

SW: Is that good enough recap for ya!

EDG: >=|!! YES!!

SW: GOOD cuz I'm getting my ass back to Chaos Realm to kick some Jester Tail!!

Now EDG’s warning bells were really being triggered. If the Jester was as bad as all data seemed to indicate. Why was this girl so eager to jump back into combat with the guy? The only thing that seemed to make sense to EDG was that the Jester had gotten his hands on something the LG’s didn’t want anyone else to know about.

Winter: Like hell you are going alone!

SW: >_< Damn it.

EDG: e_e!!!!!! What about my Guardian?

Winter: We have facilities equal to yours at GGHQ...we can help him here and transfer him back to GGHQ if necessary...but if this Jester is as bad as you say ShadowWing you are NOT facing him alone!

SW: e_e...I don't want that Joker Knock off in that Chaos Realms a second longer than necessary...

Winter: It cannot be helped...until we know how Ethan will be you are not leaving this base! e_e!

SW: *storms out* Fine...now if you excuse me I have a partner to check up on!!

*Speaking of said partner….*

Ethan: x_x…*moans*

Guardian Technician: I think he’s coming too…How are you feeling son?

Ethan: @_@!! I think I’m beginning to understand why I don’t see a lot of RETIRED Guardians.

Technician: I think he’s gonna be ok…

Ethan: *pats his stomach* I’m all in one piece again?

Technician: Yes you are.

Good. The sooner I got back out there the sooner I could kick that damn Jester’s ass back to whatever hell hole he came from. But as I began to swing my legs out of the bed, the technician shoved me back.

Technician: e_e!!!! Where do you think you’re going?

Ethan: >=|!! I got a Jester to kill!

Technician: e_e!! Not this time!! You’re going to be out of action for a couple weeks so that you can heal completely!

Ethan: O_O!!!! WHAT?!

Technician: e_e!! You heard me kid!! Now you will be staying right here!! And I WILL strap you to the damn bed if I have to!!!

Ethan: O_O….

Technician: e_e…Good…

With that he swept out of the room, off to file a report or something like that. What did I do you ask? Well it can be summed up pretty much as follows.

Ethan: >=|!!! @I&^*(#&*(^@%**%^&#%&^#%&@&^#&*^@!!!!

Yeeeup. Trust me people. When I get pissed off my worse tirades are bad enough to take the paint of a battle ship and 500 yards. I was so wrapped up in my curse frenzy that I didn’t see SW peek her head into the room right away.

SW: What you said DOUBLE...I have some good news for you though.

Ethan: o_O? What?

SW: Your sister is back to her normal self and back home ^_^!

Ethan: *sighs* Thank god. Being evil really didn’t fit her at all.

SW: Tell me about it! ~_~…But at the moment It appears that we are both grounded for the time being.

Ethan: ~_~…Yeah…I was smashed by that lunatic…

SW: TELL me about it...so now that you are lucid I'm going to check on something else then bend Winter's ear into at least letting us out to keep on that Joker Knock off until we can kick him out.

*At the exact same time….*

EDG: *is standing right behind SW*

Woah hold on! How can he be standing there and Ethan/SW not see him at all? Maybe because he has a clocking device which he had installed himself for just these kinds of situations. He was following SW, hoping that at some point she’d slip up and let whatever secret she was hiding. And as SW left the room, EDG was right on her tail.

He followed her straight to Winter’s office. Once there she pounded on the door, almost shaking it off its hinges. Think she was pissed?

Winter: *suffering sigh* Come in ShadowWing…I've been expecting you...

She ripped the door open and stormed in.

Winter: The answer is still no.

SW: We have a bigger problem than you think! Guess what that Joker stole off of me while we were tangling with him back there?

EDG: *thinks* >=)!! YES!!

Winter: Wha…O_O...please don't tell me what I THINK you are telling me?!

SW: He got BOTH my Splitters...I'm going to get them back! Or at least make sure he can't use them...

Winter: Why the hell didn't you tell me this when it happened?!

SW: e_e Has EDG left you alone before this?

Winter: Point...

SW: Though Ethan knows about it...he was there when they were stolen, he knows what they can do too.

Winter: You TOLD him? What possessed you to do THAT...?

SW: My panic when SJ snagged them? His absolute glee and vivid descriptions on what they could do in the wrong hands? I had to fess up Winter. Now can I get my ass back there to make sure he doesn't duplicate them or worse yet use them?

Winter: *rubs his temples* I send you there alone all hell will break loose...

SW: You DON'T send me ASAP all hell will break loose...

Well at this point EDG had heard all he needed to. He was going to go back to GG HQ and spill the beans on this whole secret to the GG High Council. THEN he would see who would be cooking up projects like this behind people’s back! But he had forgotten one thing…the cloak had a time limit….

EDG: *appears*

Winter: O_O!!!!

SW: O_O!!!!!!!!

Part 10

EDG: O_O!!!!

SW: O_O!!!!!

Winter: O_O!!!!!!!! >=|!!! What the hell are you doing here?

EDG: >=|!!! Keeping track of your damn secret projects Winter! Your splitters are in direct violation of the UN codes and treaties!

Winter: e_e…It’s not like we had much of a choice trashcan boy! Or would you like the Media Guardians to have gotten wind of this stuff?

EDG: O_______________O…..

Well that was enough to de-rail any amount of complaining and or thoughts of going and squealing to the UN. The minute he did that it would all be put out in the open, and the spoiled brats of the Guardian organization, the Media Guardians would use every trick in their book to try and get their hands on the Splitters.

EDG: e_e;;;…Maybe we can keep this our little secret Winter…

SW: e_e…When did you get in here anyway?

EDG: I came in right behind you. e_e! I got a cloaking device for situations when I think stealth is required.

Winter: If I can please bring everyone back on task here. The fact remains that we still have an insane clown running around the Chaos Systems and we are running short of time. The longer he has those Splitters the worse off the situation becomes. The last thing we need is for him to create another Chaos System all for his own.

SW: e_e!!! I’m SOO gonna kick that Joker-Wanna-Be’s ASS!!

EDG: e_e…Winter, I want you to send an order down to your boys in the med wing. I want Ethan released. It’s gonna take more than just SW to stop that guy.

SW: Are you sure he’ll be effective in the condition he is now?

EDG: Not entirely. But the fact remains that the kid won’t allow himself to be tied down when something like this is going on. No matter HOW hard they strap him down to the bed. e_e…

Winter: I’ll order the release.

SW: Fine! But I’m going to go on ahead and keep an eye on SJ. If it looks like he’s getting close to setting off the Splitters at least I’ll be able to do something.

EDG: e_e…If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go talk to my Guardian.

*Back with Ethan…*

Ethan: =|…*writing* Hmmm…maybe that’s a tad bit over dramatic…let’s try this instead…

For those of you who were wondering. I was writing a letter to my friends and family. It was essentially an explanation of what I had been doing as a Guardian and how, if they were reading this letter, how I had finally met my end.

Let’s face it people, it had been a close call last time and there had been a portion of dumb luck involved in my survival. And there was no telling that I might get that lucky again.

Ethan: How I hate grasping at straws…

Which was exactly what we were doing. The Scarlet Jester was a whole new class of GG villain. Someone with incredible power and who seemed to know almost everything about us…it was…most unsettling to say the least.

Ethan: >=|…Where the hell did this guy come from anyway?

Another question without an answer. My job seemed to be full of those recently.

EDG: Hey geekboy!

Ethan: What is it EDG?

EDG: e_e…Prepare to head out. I managed to pull some strings with Winter and he’s going to order your release a little bit ahead of schedule…I don’t mind telling you that things aren’t looking good at the moment. But to be frank you and SW are our best hope at the moment. I sent a message back to GG HQ, but most of our top agents are scattered across the systems engaged in other jobs.

Ethan: >_<…He sure chose the perfect time to do this…

EDG: No shit. We think he’s been watching us for a while now…

Ethan: I find that unsettling.

EDG: Same here geekboy. But we’ll worry about when and if he’s been watching us later. I want you to go kick him out of Chaos Realm! e_e! SW went ahead, so don’t be dallying to long please.

I picked up the note I had finished writing.

Ethan: Just promise me that if I don’t come back that my sister gets this. Ok?

EDG: Not a problem geek boy. Though may I make a suggestion. From what you told us before, it seems that Holy Energy can slow this guy down. If I were you, I’d take a Cleric form and go drop Holy Smites on his ass all damn day.

Ethan: >=)! Heh!

With that, I shifted into a Cleric of Trithareon, and jaunted.

Part 11

Back to the Chaos Systems. I can tell ya, by this point I had begun to get REALLY sick of seeing the ruined and trashed NYC. The only good thing about it is that fact the only people that would be getting hurt around here would be us….which wasn’t necessarily a GOOD thing but what can you do.

Of course when I appeared back in NYC I saw something that I didn’t care for at all. Namely, Scarlet Jester preparing to slice SW in half with a pair of big ass scythes. Now the way I saw it there was really only one way for me to stop him…and it would hurt like hell…but SW dragged my ass outta here before. I owed her one.

Ethan: >_< !! This is gonna suck…e_e…

I SHOVED SW out of the way and took the blow myself.

*SLICE*

Ethan: >_< !! ARRRGHHHH!!

SW: o_o? Who the hell?

Ethan: >_O…Miss me?

SW: Ethan? o_O! Are you nuts?

Ethan: Most likely…

SJ: >=|!!!!!

Ethan: ^_^! OH!! I have something for you my pasty skinned friend!

SJ: e_e…Oh?

Ethan: >=|!!! HOLY SMITE!!

Now, considering he’s about as evil as you can get, and that I had dropped the thing at point blank range, RIGHT in his stupid face. He wasn’t that happy at all.

SJ: X_x!! ##^&*#^&*%^&*@^$!!

Oh no!! He didn’t like that one at all!

*CRACK*

Ow…just…ow…I had just been driven about 6 feet into the ground by the fucking Rogue Guardian!

Ethan: @_@...I’m gonna kill that guy…>=|!!!

*WHAM*

SW: @_@...Ow…

That sounded like SW being driven into the ground right next to me. I managed to pry myself out of the hole so that I could get a better look at what was going on. That question was answered very quickly….by a oncoming fist.

*WHAM*

Rogue Guardian: >=D!!!

Ethan: >_< ! I’m really beginning to hate you…

Rouge Guardian: ^_^! Awwww…Really?

Ethan: >=|!! BLADE BARRIER!!

The guy was soon surrounded by a swirling barrier of swords, knives, and other such sharp and pointy objects. This pretty much kept him from going anywhere at the moment. With one obstacle out of the way, I turned my attention back to SW and the Scarlet Jester.

One look at that battle and things aren’t going to well for us at the moment. None of the attacks that she was throwing at the guy were doing any good. Not to mention SJ had SW by the neck was was trying to choke the life out of her.

SJ: e_e…Join me or die.

SW: Ugh...that’s...the THIRD time ya have...asked me that....what's the deal *chokes*

SJ: Simple. Join me in my conquests of the known worlds...and I will give you power, and riches beyond your wildest dreams! You'll be all powerful!

SW: *urks* ASIDE from the usual....surely there are OTHER LG's you could bribe...why waste your time on me?

SJ: Because you are…

Ethan: HOLY SMITE!!!

Whatever she was, I wasn’t gonna let SJ keep his mits on her any longer. One Holy Smite dropped on his head managed to stun him long enough for SW to get out of his grip, and for her to shift into her Psi form. With the Jester beginning to come back around, she did the only real thing she could. She created a psi blade and shoved it right between his eyes….and amazingly enough…it hurt him…a lot.

SJ: X_X!!! ARRRRGGHHHHH! #&^#&*^&@!!!

Ethan: O_O!!!!

SW: O_O!!!!

SJ: >_e!! You little bitch…

SW: >=D!! *hits him again*

SJ: X_x!!! @^&@^(#&*@%^&*%&*^#%&^@!!!

SJ managed to regain control of himself and glared right back at SW. It was anger, horror, admiration, and obsession all mixed into one look that send chills down my spine. SW was somewhat thrown by this look.

SJ: >=|…>=)…>=D!!! He..heh…HA HA HA HA HA!!! Yes!! You really do have it!!!

SW: o_O…What are you talking about laughing boy?

SJ: e_e…Time to end this…

SJ flew straight up while pulling something from his robes at the exact same time. It was a splitter bomb. I was beginning to get a real bad feeling that this mission wasn’t gonna have a happy ending. SW tried to TK the Splitter away from him, but he just dropped an Unholy Blight on her head. Then he dropped the bomb. From my vantage point I could see the timer.

5 seconds…

SW: O_O!! Ethan!! JAUNT NOW!!

*BZZZZT*

Uhhh…well…so much for that one…SJ shot that thing right out of my hands.

SJ: >=D!! Good bye Guardians!! I bid you a fond farewell!!

Rogue Guardian: O_O!! Lord Jester!! What about me?!

Jester: Ahhh….of course…*dispels the blade barrier* I might still have some use for you…

Rogue Guardian: ^_^! YAY!!

3 seconds…

At this point SW wrapped the bomb in a TK shield, and then both HERSELF and the bomb in another TK shield.

Ethan: O_O!! SW! What the hell are you doing?!

SW: ;_;…Stopping this thing the only way I can…

SJ: >=)…Come…it’s time to leave this party…

And then they both Jaunted out.

2 seconds…

1 second…

0…

And then it went off.

*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*

ShadowWing’s screams were audible, even over the roar of the bomb. And the pain…it was indescribable… it was like being turned inside out, combined with thousands of razors shredding your skin.

Ethan: >_< !! SHADOWWING!!! X_X!!!!

Then all went black…

Part 12

(OOC: Finally finishing Guardians up. That is all.)

Some time after the splitter bomb went off, our gamer friend finally began to come around, looking decidedly worse for the beating he took at the hands of laughing boy and his faithful sidekick.

Ethan: Ow….@_@...just…ow…

Sometimes it really sucks to be a Guardian. I mean, saving the gaming systems is good and all, but the risking your life part can really make it all seem pointless sometimes. Pain still coursing through my body, I still managed to haul myself back to my feet….just in time to meet one of the locals.

Dead One: e_e….BRAINS!!!

Ethan: O_O!!! …e_e…

*WHAM*

Dead One: @_@!!! *vanishing in the horizon* BRAAAAAIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSS!!

Ethan: e_e…

Amazing what people can do when their pissed off ain’t it? Anyway, since the zombie had been dealt with I decided to go check on SW and then get the hell OUT of here before Evil Ernie himself showed up. However she wasn’t looking that good…at all…maybe it was the not moving bit…

Ethan: *shakes her* Oi! Shadow! O_O! Come on! Speak to me girl!

SW: ~_~….

Ethan: O_O!! Awww…fuck! Come on SW! *shakes her again*

SW: ~_~…

Ok! NOW was the time to start panicking! The only thing that I hadn’t checked yer was her vitals. Whispering a prayer to Trithereon I quickly knelt down and grabbed her wrist.

There was a pulse. Or at least I thought it was a pulse. Just to be entirely sure that she was alive I placed by ear against her chest, hoping to find some sign that she was still breathing. Amazingly enough, she was. Damn…if this girl wasn’t tough as nails. Well, in that case it was time to leave.

Ethan: Jaunt system….jaunt system…Where the HELL is her Jaunt system! >=|!! I mean what’s the point of having…o_O…@_@...*COUGH*

I felt a warm rush of something coming up my throat, and was surprised to find a great deal of blood start running down my chin. Damn…it looked like I was in pretty bad shape too. Looking around again, I found SW’s Jaunt System. I snatched it up and began to fiddle with it.

A split second later we were back at GG HQ, and technicians were swarming the place already. Our arrival managed to stir up a little bit of a shock, and somewhere in the confused din of voices I managed to make out someone asking me what happened.

Ethan: >_<!! She was hit by a splitter!!

Well this caused even MORE chaos as technicians began to take SW from me and put her on a gurney. More questions were fired my way.

Technician: How close was she when she was hit?

Ethan: Point blank! She was holding it in her hand….

Technician: O_O…It’s official…she’s insane…no one has survived a hit like that…

At this point they had began to wheel SW towards the med bays when the various scanners and such they had attached to her began to beep like crazy. He vitals were dropping like a stone and they were fighting to keep her breathing and her heart pumping. But then they were out the door, and a third technician was scanning me.

Technician: Were you in the blast range?

Ethan: @_@....I think I’m gonna be sick….

The burst of energy that had been keeping me going was wearing off in a hurry. I grabbed my stomach and slid to the floor.

Tech 1: Sounds like a Stage 2 hit...but if she was holding the Splitter...how'd you get off so light o_O

Ethan: >_<...She had a TK shield around herself.

Tech 1: Yup...she's insane all right...o_O..

They helped me onto another gurney as they began to wheel me away for treatment of Level 2 exposure. They wheeled me down the now somewhat familiar halls of the MG medical bay. I tried to peek into the other rooms to see if SW was resting in any of them. No luck there.

Tech 1: This’ll find the cells in your system that have broken down due to the splitter effects and repair them going by the scans you had taken earlier.

Ethan: Ok...

Tech 1: Just relax...you can even take a nap if you want...any questions?

Ethan: ...What are the chances of SW coming out alive?

Tech 1: *gulps* To be honest...not good...nobody has survived a point blank hit...the fact she was still breathing when you brought her back here is a miracle. I'll have to check her scans to see how bad the hit was...

Ethan: -_-...ok...Thank you...

While the technician began to get the scans loaded up, I began to slip into a deep sleep. Sometime later I came to in a standard recovery room like I was in before. I fumbled around for my glasses for a little it, and ended up getting them onto see a surprising sight.

EDG and Winter were waiting for me to wake up…

Ethan: O_O…*blinks*

Winter: Ahhh…Ethan…how are you doing?

Ethan: O_O…Fine I guess…

Winter: I’m sure you have several questions…

Ethan: Yeah…

Winter: So what’s the first question?

Ethan: >_<…How’s SW doing?

Winter: You have been out for about 8 hours...she has not regained consciencness...but she is still alive and between treatments at the moment.

Ethan: SJ? Any idea about where he is?

EDG: He blasted you two then Jaunted away. e_e…Unfortunately I think we’ll be seeing him again.

Ethan: I want to go check on SW….

Winter: …I can’t guarantee anything Ethan….she won’t be able to see you…

EDG: Ethan, trust me on this…go home….the stress will tear you apart if you just sit around and wait. You’re on extended vacation, effective immediately. e_e…Go home.

Ethan: …..Yes sir…

One week later…

Java for the Soul. My home away from home, where I always go when I need to clear my mind over a nice pot of Oolong Tea, sometimes I just needed this kind relaxing atmosphere. I had been put on inactive duty for a month just to make sure that I had completely recovered from the Jester ordeal. At the moment, the rain was coming down in sheets outside, making me very grateful that I was inside with my rats.

Ethan: *sighs* ~_~…..I’d sure feel a lot more at ease if I know how SW was faring.

Ratbert: Squeak?

Rattikate: o_o…Squeak!

I scratched them behind the ears. Which made me feel a little bit better, my rats returned to nibbling on the banana-walnut muffins that I had gotten them. I had been kinda distracted at first, so I hadn’t noticed the text book "suspicious character" that had entered and that was making her way towards my table.

Ethan: o_o…I swear I know this person…

SW: I should hope so Ethan!

Ethan: O_O! ^_^!! SW!

SW: Yeah…it's me...who else do you know that wears all black with red gloves?

Ethan: ^_^! Glad to see you! Sit down! Sit down! Let's talk!

She took my advice and pulled up a seat. She took of her coat, and pushed the brim of this wide hat she had been wearing back so that I could get a look at her better. She did look to be in better shape then the last time I saw her, but she still looked like she could use some rest.

Ethan: Still not recovered completely have you?

SW: I'm in one piece...but I'm on enforced leave for another two weeks...e_e I was going stir crazy at HQ.

Ethan: I can imagine.

SW: Any sign of laughing boy?

Ethan: I heard a rumor that he had blown into Deadlands, but Shane Hemsley ran him off. …That guy could give SJ a run for his money.

SW: Fun...so does this mean that SJ is gonna be after my ass for this?

Ethan: -_-...Most likely...

SW: *rolls eyes* WONDERFUL...just what the my life needs e_e...as if my own life wasn't complicated enough ~_~...

Ethan: If it’s any consolation, he’ll be after my ass too. So don’t take it to hard.

SW: Blech. I think I’ll survive.

Ethan: =P…You better.

SW: =P Sure the next time I'm at the mercy of a psycho I'll be sure to inform him or her that they need your permission before killing me. *smirks*

Ethan: *chuckles* So, two weeks enforced leave. Wanna wander around my home system for a while?

SW: O_O…Uhhh…thanks Ethan but I’ll pass. Your home system isn’t known for peace and quiet.

Ethan: *chuckles* Ain’t it the truth! What system are you from anyway?

SW: Some offshoot of the DCU...I was a kinda mess up kid in those days...makes me wonder why in the hell they even tried to recruit me...o_O

Ethan: *laughs* Hey! Take a look at me! I’m the guy who blackmailed the GG High Council!

SW: Heh...point...anyway I better take off for now...but I'll be hanging around though Ethan. ^_^

Ethan: Ok! I'll catch ya next mission SW!

With that, she got up and left, destined for Prime System. In a much better mood than I came in with, I leaned back in my seat and continued with my tea.

Meanwhile….in a system unknown…

The Scarlet Jester flipped leaned back in his own chair, as he watched ShadowWing jaunt back to her home system.

SJ: >=)!! Oh my little Shadow! What plans I have for you!

The Scarlet Jester began to finger with a vial of strange purple liquid.

SJ: Just wait till she gets a load of my…Joy Juice…Heh…heh…HA HA HA HA HA!!!

END